THREE

Cate growled in frustration as again the dark thought escaped into her mind.  Enough, she chided herself sternly.  No more.  Not tonight.  

She scrubbed angrily at her eyes, wiping away the moisture that dotted her lashes before blinking them open and taking a deep breath.   She was so tired of feeling helpless.

“Fifteen minutes,” Jon announced, strolling back into the room.  He smiled down at his wife, who was now occupying his favorite position on the sofa.  “That okay?” He perched on the arm of the couch and reached out to ruffle her hair.

“Sure,” Cate nodded unenthusiastically.  It wasn’t like her appetite had returned in the few minutes since Jon had left the room.  “Oh, sorry…” She pulled herself upright on the sofa.  “I took your spot.”

“No, stay right there,” Jon ordered.  He slid off his perch and circled the cocktail table, stopping in front of the other end of the couch.  With a little grin he settled on the leather cushion, then slid sideways toward Cate.  “We can share.”

Cate gave him a quizzical half-smile.  “Share the spot? Or share the couch?”

“The spot.  We have to get really close, though.”  Jon sidled closer to his wife and slipped an arm behind her, around her waist.  He chuckled sexily and nuzzled at her ear.  “This okay?”

“Mmm Hmm.”  Cate let herself slouch against the back of the couch again, her tired body relaxing into the supple leather.  Jon followed her movement, bracing his shoulder against the sofa back as he lowered his mouth to Cate’s.  She turned her head to accept his kiss, sighing softly at the contact.  Jon gently caressed her lips with his, his heart twinging as he tasted her sadness. 

When he pulled back, Jon gave Cate a long, searching look.  She met his gaze and he could see her silent plea not to ask, not to bring up the topic they had already spent countless hours discussing.

“So…” Jon gave Cate a tender smile, then pushed himself upright to sit beside her.  “I know you’ve been working your ass off, and today kinda sucked.  I thought maybe tonight we’d just unwind, veg out on the couch for awhile, have a glass of wine, maybe take a bubble bath…”  He sing-songed the plan in his honey-whiskey croon.

Cate smiled tiredly, but shook her head.  “I really should work.  I’m meeting with the Civil Attorney on Thursday, and…”

“And you will be perfectly prepared, as always.” Jon interrupted her.  “But you can do it tomorrow.  Not tonight.  You deserve a night off.”

Cate sighed heavily.  “Jon, you don’t understand…”

“Yes, I do understand.  I’ve been married to a Fed long enough to know the rhythm of these things.  You’re not far enough into this case yet to have to have the whole deal laid out for the U.S. Attorney.”  Jon gave his wife a stern look, his brows raised.  “I know you can afford to take a night off, Cate.  Maybe spend it with your husband?”

Cate felt the sting of guilt at Jon’s last sentence.  She stared back at him, watching his beautiful blue eyes glitter in the firelight.  In those indigo pools she saw his need to comfort her, to be her protector and caretaker.

She had to let him be what he needed to be.  Even if she didn’t want to admit that that’s exactly what she needed from him right now.

Cate mustered a smile.  “Well, since you put it that way… Spending the evening with my husband sounds much more appealing than plowing through spreadsheets.”

Jon chuckled, relieved at her acquiescence.  “Thanks… I think.”  He leaned forward and reached for the wine bottle on the cocktail table.  “Now, let me pour you a glass and we’ll toast to… something.”

“Jon, no.”  Cate shook her head as she protested his offer.  “You know I’m not drinking.”

Jon froze, then sighed softly.  He turned back to Cate, reaching for her hand.  He gave her a patient smile, weighing his words carefully before speaking. 

“Cate, I know you’re trying to do everything right.  By the book.  And I love you for that, for all the sacrifices you’re making.  But Baby… one glass of red wine ain’t gonna hurt.  Dr. Seuss told you that at our last appointment.  Hell, she even told you it could be beneficial, remember?  You know, good for the heart, helps you relax, relieves stress…”

“But Jon…”

“Cate.”

The quiet authority in his voice stopped Cate’s argument cold.  She knew Jon was right; all the research she had done on lifestyle factors affecting fertility supported his argument, as did the advice of her own doctor.  Cate also knew her cold-turkey abstinence from alcohol, caffeine, artificial sweeteners, and a long list of foods probably had only minimally improved her reproductive health.   But she was going to control the factors she could when it came to her body.  It was what she had to do, even if only to soothe her worries.

 “Baby?”

Let him comfort you.  Cate sighed softly, then gave Jon a little smile and a shrug of acceptance.  “Okay.  But just half a glass.”

Jon grinned and pulled her hand to his lips for a quick kiss.  “Deal.”  He settled Cate’s hand on her abdomen and gave it a pat before reaching for the bottle.  He half-filled the empty wine glass, then added another pour to his own.

“Okay, time for a toast before the food gets here,” Jon grinned as a low rumble emitted from his midsection.  Cate chuckled quietly, sitting up straight on the couch and accepting her wine from Jon.

“What are we toasting?”  Cate raised her glass expectantly.

“Well…” Jon turned toward her, lifting his own glass.  “I think we should toast ourselves.  It ain’t easy being us.  Especially lately.  But we do a damned good job of it, so we deserve a little recognition.” He gave her a cheeky smirk.  “Fuck everybody else.  To the Bongiovis!”

Cate’s laugh warmed Jon’s heart.  His smile gentled as he saw a flash of sparkle in her eyes and a slight flush of pink in her cheeks.  He hadn’t heard that beautiful sound enough lately.

“Hear, hear,” Cate agreed, raising her glass to bump against Jon’s.  “To us.”  She giggled softly as she raised the wine glass to her lips and took a long sip.  Cate closed her eyes as she held the wine in her mouth for a long moment, savoring the rich flavors.   It was delicious.

“This is nice,” she observed quietly after swallowing the ruby liquid.  Her eyes still closed, Cate slumped back against the couch, the supple leather creaking softly as it yielded to her weight.  She swirled the wine in her glass before holding it to her nose and breathing in the bouquet.

“I thought you’d like it.”  Jon watched Cate enjoy the wine for a moment, then set his glass on the cocktail table.  Glancing at Cate’s face to be sure her eyes were still closed, Jon’s hand moved behind him to slide the slim, flat box from its concealment in his back pocket.  He placed the little white-ribboned blue parcel gently on Cate’s tummy.

Cate’s eyes fluttered open as she felt the item rest on her middle.  She peered down at her waist, her lips parting with surprise as she spied the box.  “Jon…”

Jon cut off her protest before it began.  “Shhh.  None of that ‘Jon, you shouldn’t have!’ bullshit.”  His mouth curled into a crooked smirk as he mimicked her usual chastisement.  “It makes me happy to buy My Girl pretty things.  So sue me.”

“Christ, Jon.  If I did sue you I wouldn’t get anything, the way you throw your money at Tiffany.”  Cate’s sarcastic tease was softened by the affection in her tone.

“Yeah, yeah.  Open it, already.”  Jon reached out to take Cate’s wine glass from her hand.  He set it on the table beside his, hardly glancing away from her face.  He loved watching her expression when she opened those little blue boxes.

He wasn’t disappointed.  Cate’s lips curved into a soft smile as she tugged at the ribbon and carefully pried open the box.  Again her blue eyes flashed with a sparkle of warmth as they widened again, then blinked as she gazed down at the simple silver necklace nestled against the white satin lining.

“It’s nothing much,” Jon warned, almost guiltily.  “Not from one of the big cases in the back of the store.  Just a little bauble that caught my eye.  And my heart.”

“Oh, Babe…” Cate sighed her reply, her lashes fluttering against the happy sparkle of moisture in her eyes.  “It’s gorgeous.”  She brushed a fingertip gently across the flat, heart-shaped platinum tag, feeling the grooves of the scrolled inscription under her touch.  “Dream a little dream,” she read in a half-whisper.

“Yeah.” Jon reached up to hook a gentle finger under Cate’s chin.  She raised her glittering gaze to his and his heart melted.  “Just a little something to remind you to hold on to that dream.  Our dream.”

A silvery tear slipped down Cate’s cheek as she saw the concern in Jon’s beautiful blue eyes, thinly masked by his smile.  She nodded silently, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

“We’ll get through this, Cate.  It just takes a little time, a little patience.  And a little faith.”  Jon felt his own eyes moisten with his words.  He quickly leaned forward to touch his lips to Cate’s, not wanting her to see his emotion.  

He kissed her tenderly and nuzzled her cheek as he blinked away his tears, then pulled back.  Jon gently brushed away a tear from his wife's cheek with his thumb and smiled.

“I…”  Cate swallowed hard and returned Jon’s smile, then sighed wearily.  “I know.  It’s just … some days it’s hard to see the ray of hope, you know?”

“I know.  That’s why we have to stick together. Pull each other up when one of us gets down.”  Jon chuckled quietly.  “Teamwork, Baby.”

Jon’s pep-talk made Cate giggle softly.  She looked again at the ornate pendant.  “It’s perfect,” she mused softly. 

“And this one you can actually wear,” Jon pointed out.  He reached for the box and carefully removed the necklace from its mount.  “Unlike most of the stuff I buy you, you don’t have an excuse for this one.”  He grinned at his tease as he pried apart the clasp and separated the two ends of the chain, then held it up expectantly.

Cate laughed quietly and pushed herself half-upright.  She swept her long hair aside with one hand, pulling it up so Jon could circle the chain around her neck.  “That’s true.  This one’s not flashy.  I can get away with wearing it at the office.”  She felt the weight of the pendant settle against her chest as Jon secured the clasp and pulled his hands back.  Cate released her hair and moved her hand to touch the silver charm resting over her heart.

“Well, I hope you’ll wear it all the time,” Jon observed gently, reaching up to cover Cate’s hand with his, his own finger brushing over the platinum tag. 

“I think I just might,” Cate agreed softly.  She gazed deep into Jon’s eyes for a long moment, reading his thoughts.  Her smile turned melancholy as she saw for a fleeting moment her own dark dread mirrored deep in his soul.  Then it was gone, masked by affection.

Cate reached up to lay a palm against Jon’s cheek.  “Thank you, Baby.  I love it.  I love you.”

Jon grinned and turned his face to press a kiss against her palm.  “Welcome.”  He reached up to give her hand a squeeze, then pull it away from her face and deposit it in her lap.  “So, you want me to turn on some music or something?”

“If you want.”  Cate sighed and slid back into her slouch, groaning softly as the couch cushioned her tired muscles.  “Honestly, I’m good with the quiet.”

As if on cue the intercom chimed, announcing a visitor at the concierge’s desk.

Jon chortled as he stood.  “Shit, that was fast.  And so much for quiet.”  He strolled into the foyer and and pressed the button before speaking into the small intercom beside the front door.  “Rudy, could you bring it up, please?  The check and tip are already taken care of.”

“Yes, sir.  Right away,” came the concierge’s courteous answer.

“Thanks.”

Cate  pushed herself up, struggling a bit to extract herself from the comfort of the deep sofa.  “I’ll set the table,” she announced.

“Okay.  Take the wine,” Jon directed, nodding at the bottle and glasses on the table.

“Got it.” Cate stooped to pick up first the glasses, then the bottle, then headed for the kitchen.  Once there she set the items on the massive granite-topped island before taking plates and utensils from their places in the cupboards and drawers. 

She had hardly finished the task when Jon appeared with a large, delicious-smelling white paper bag.  Despite Cate’s lack of appetite her stomach rumbled in response to the olfactory stimulation.

Jon grinned at the sound.  “Told ya you need to eat.”

“Yeah, well… Nico’s is hard to resist.”

“So give in. Yield to temptation.”  Jon set the bag on the counter and extracted from it a quartet of food containers.  Together he and Cate assembled their meal, filling plates with pasta, chicken piccata, sautéed mushrooms, and roasted root vegetables.  Then they moved to the high-backed stools at the end of the kitchen island.

“A little dinner music would be nice, yeah?” Jon asked as he set his plate on one of the placemats Cate had laid out in preparation for their meal.  He took a step toward the panel that controlled the apartment's intercom and sound system.

“Sure.”  Cate smiled gently as she settled on her chair, knowing what Jon’s selection would be.  In seconds the familiar strains of piano and bass and horns drifted softly through the room, preceding the unmistakable voice of Mr. Sinatra.

“Now we got ourselves a proper Eye-Talian dinnah.” Jon joked as he slid onto his stool, exaggerating his usually-dormant North Jersey accent.

Cate giggled softly, taking another sip of her wine.  “You really are pure Goombah, aren’t you?”

Jon leaned over to press a kiss to his wife’s cheek, his heart warming at her playful tease.  “Me?  Fuhgeddaboudit.”  He gave her a wink and a grin before picking up his fork and spoon.

They ate slowly, making small talk and avoiding the topics of work and doctors.  Cate gradually relaxed, her frustration and worry diminishing as the food and drink took effect, nourishing her tired body and lifting her grey mood.  Jon’s gentle smile remained as he watched his wife’s transformation from melancholy to calm.

“You want a refill?” Jon asked as he tipped the wine bottle to his glass.  “I can open another.”

Cate shook her head as she dabbed at her mouth with her napkin.  “Thanks, but no.  One was enough.”

Jon nodded, knowing not to push.  He emptied the bottle into his glass and took a sip before sliding off his chair.  He reached for Cate’s plate, stacking it on top of his before carrying it to the far end of the kitchen and setting it in the deep sink.

Cate watched him with a little smile playing across her lips.  “You’re gonna wash those, aren’t you?” she teased gently.

Jon turned and gave her a smirk.  “Just because I wash dishes at the Kitchen doesn’t mean I have to do it here too, does it?” he protested playfully.

“Well, you’re pretty good at it.  All that practice pays off.”

Jon dropped his chin and gave Cate a devilish grin.  He stalked slowly across the kitchen toward her.  “Know what else practice makes perfect at?”

Cate giggled quietly.  “What?”

Stopping next to Cate’s seat, he pushed at its arm, swiveling the high-backed barstool so that she faced him.  He leaned in close, until his mouth hovered over hers.  He felt her breath stop and her lips pucker in anticipation of his kiss.  Jon chuckled huskily but didn’t move, teasing her with his closeness.  Then he drew back, a sexy smirk painting his handsome features.

“Dancing.”  He answered his own question in a velvety croon, reaching for Cate’s hand.  He stepped back, tugging lightly at her hand and urging her to join him.

Cate sighed softly and slipped off her chair, unable to resist her husband’s silent invitation.  Though the day’s events hardly made her feel like dancing, she had no objections to letting Jon hold her. 

She stepped in close, resting her left hand on his shoulder as he pulled her right hand to his chest.  Jon’s arm slid around Cate’s waist, guiding her hips against his.  His cheek brushed against hers as they began to sway slowly to Frank’s quiet croon.  She smiled as she heard Jon's voice soft in her ear.

Night and Day

You are the one

Only you ‘neath the moon

Or under the sun

Whether near to me or far

No matter, Darling, where you are

I think of you

Night and Day

They revolved slowly in place, their bodies moving effortlessly as one and their hearts speaking silently to each other, sharing what they couldn’t express with mere words.  Cate blinked back a tear as she once again felt Jon’s devotion, in his touch and his breath and his heartbeat.  With his silent reassurance she felt her hope return, that someday soon there would be another little heart to share in their love.

Jon felt Cate’s body melt against his as they moved.  He smiled and stopped his quiet croon, rubbing his cheek gently against hers.  

“Tomorrow will be better, Baby,” he whispered.  “Promise.”

Cate smiled gratefully and nodded, then turned her cheek to his shoulder.  She pulled her hand free from Jon’s and slid her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.  He responded in kind, pressing a kiss against her hair.

They danced on in silence, holding each other close.