Saturday, January 28, 2012

THIRTEEN

The silence was soothing.

Cate closed her eyes and pulled in a long, slow breath.  The clean, earthy aroma of nature flooded her senses as her lungs filled with fresh morning air.  She held the breath in for as long as she could, oxygen fueling her body as the tranquility calmed her mind.  Slowly she let her breath escape, feeling her muscles relax.

She repeated the meditative ritual several more times before finally opening her eyes.  Her lips parted in a soft sigh as she took in the stunning panorama from her seat on the hillside.  All around her autumn’s colors blazed in full glory, gold and crimson and orange leaves garlanding the trees and carpeting the ground.  Ahead of her the placid lake mirrored the forest’s quiet beauty, its surface still and smooth as glass.

It was breathtaking.

Sunrise had brought warmth, the golden rays chasing away the harshness of the night’s chill.  The air was crisp and clear, subtly reminding of the coming winter but teasing at one last weekend of Indian Summer.  Thin clouds wisped high in the azure sky, like ghostly apparitions.  It was going to be a beautiful day.

Jon was still sleeping when Cate awoke.  She had watched him for several minutes, her gaze tracing slowly over his face from the shaggy blondish bangs tousled against his forehead, to the light lashes closed against his soft cheek, to the little lines at the corners of his eyes, and along the angle of his jaw, lightly sanded with soft caramel stubble.

Her eyes had moistened at Jon’s peaceful visage.  He was as beautiful as the sunrise outside their window.  For the millionth time Cate sent up a prayer of thanks and wonder that this wasn’t all a dream.

Carefully Cate had slipped from their bed and tiptoed into the bathroom.  There she quickly dressed, then crept from the master suite.  Minutes later she was outside, jogging slowly down the long gravel drive, performing her morning ritual.

As she ran Cate replayed the previous day’s events in her mind.  To say it had been a rollercoaster of a day was an understatement.  Again the gamut of emotions assaulted her, but the exercise endorphins kept her sorrow at bay.  By the time she had completed her five-mile run Cate felt much better, both in body and in spirit.

After a long stretch Cate went back into the cabin.  A quick peek into the bedroom confirmed her husband was still slumbering.  Not wanting to wake him, she had wandered into the kitchen, shedding her perspiration-dampened sweatshirt and tee, then pulling the elastic from her hair as she moved.

Cate pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator and drank, then turned her gaze toward the coffee pot.  She frowned as she felt the familiar longing for a strong cup of the self-forbidden brew.

“Baby,” she mumbled firmly in reminder, turning away from the pot.  She reached for the box of herbal tea bags she had deposited on the counter yesterday, then hesitated.  Cate frowned again and pulled her hand back.  She didn’t want any of that crappy tea, either.  But she craved something warm after her long jog in the morning chill.

Noticing the pair of mugs resting in the sink, Cate smiled.  “Ah,” she breathed softly as she again turned to the refrigerator.  She smiled gratefully as she extracted the half-empty jug of organic cider from the shelf.  Her husband’s thoughtfulness had provided them not only a lovely nightcap last night, but a tasty way for her to start her day. “Thanks, Baby,” Cate chuckled, not really knowing why she was talking to herself.

Cate found a clean mug, filled it with cider, added a dash of cinnamon, then set the beverage in the microwave.  A minute later she wrapped her hands around the warm mug and took a sip.  She smiled and moved to the window, gazing out at the beautiful morning scene.

A few more sips of cider and a half-refill later, Cate headed for the door.  On the way she paused to pull two heavy blankets from the small coat closet off the foyer.  Draping the quilted one over her bare shoulders, Cate headed out onto the porch, following it around the side of the house.  She descended the few steps to the ground, then wandered away from the cabin.

Cate picked her way through the forest until she found the perfect spot.  Morning sunlight dappled the little clearing, which offered her an unobstructed view down the hill to the peaceful lake.  Carefully setting her cider on the ground, Cate shook out the thick woolen blanket and settled it over the thick bed of leaves.  She lowered herself on the blanket, stretching out her legs and toeing off her running shoes.  She pushed them to the side of the blanket, then pulled her knees in to her chest as the damp chill from the ground caused her an involuntary shiver.

Cate pulled the quilt draped around her shoulders closer, covering her legs.  She snaked a hand out to retrieve her cider, then pulled it inside the warm cocoon.  Several more sips warmed her from the inside, tempering the morning’s chill.

As she gazed out at nature’s splendor, Cate’s mind relaxed.  Her focus drifted, random images and thoughts dancing through her consciousness.  Her dog… her first car… the family vacation she and her parents had taken to the Lake of the Ozarks when she was ten… her first encounter with her best friend Danny…   the day she had almost shot a raccoon during a stakeout… how her breath had caught in her throat the day she walked into her Boss’ office and Jon had been sitting there, in front of his desk.

The memory of her first meeting with Jon made Cate smile.  She closed her eyes, replaying the moment in her mind like she was watching it on a movie screen.

For a half-hour Cate sat on the hillside, lost in her memories, barely noticing the beauty surrounding her.  She savored the solitude, allowing herself to relive the history of her and Jon’s romance.  A bittersweet smile played across her lips as she reflected on their past and considered their future, then returned to their present.  To yesterday, when their world had shifted.  To last night, when they had made a plan.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Cate murmured softly to herself.

The quiet affirmation gave her strength.  It validated the pact she and Jon had made the evening before, that they would continue to try.  If necessary, they would turn to science.   But they wouldn’t give up.

Reaching out of her warm cocoon to set her now-empty cider mug on the ground, Cate closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath.  She exhaled, cleansing her thoughts and her soul.

She didn’t hear the movement behind her at first.  The sharp snap of a breaking twig followed by the quiet crunch of leaves under footsteps alerted her.  Cate started, freezing for a split second as her trained senses worked to pinpoint the location of the potential threat.

“Hey, you.”

Jon’s gentle voice made her smile.  Before he had uttered a syllable Cate knew it was him.  She had felt his presence without even having to turn her head.

“Hey.”  Cate craned her neck to look up, over her shoulder.  “You’re awake.”

“Uh huh.”  Jon stopped beside Cate and grinned down at her.  “I rolled over to give you a good morning kiss and you were gone.  Figured you went out for a run.”  He prodded at one of Cate’s empty sneakers with his toe.  “Then I went to make coffee and looked out the window, and saw you out here.”

“I did run.  But you were still snoozing when I came back, so I decided to come out and enjoy the view.”  Cate squinted against a golden glare as she looked up at Jon’s face.  His head was haloed in morning sunlight from a break in the leaf canopy above them.

Jon had clearly just rolled out of bed:  his hair was wildly untidy and he was scruffy and unshaven.  He was now dressed, but obviously without consideration for the crisp autumn weather.  He shivered in his knit track pants and light cotton zippered hoodie.

“Got room in there for me?”  Jon nodded hopefully at Cate’s blanket cocoon.

Cate chortled quietly.  “Sure.”  She unfolded her arms from around her knees, opening the quilt in invitation.

Jon grinned and moved closer to Cate.  With a little groan he lowered himself onto the wool blanket-bed next to her, then scooted sideways.  Cate draped her arm around Jon’s shoulders as he settled, sharing her body-warmed covering.

She shivered as Jon’s chilly clothing contacted her bare skin.  She hadn’t bothered to put her t-shirt back on after her run, her body still warm from exercise.  From the waist up she was clad only in her snug sports tank.

“Don’t know why the fuck Steph couldn’t go to school in the Bahamas or somewhere,” Jon fake-grumbled as he toed off his shoes and kicked them over beside Cate’s.  “It’s fucking cold up here in the mountains.”

Cate snorted.  “You’re so full of shit.  You know damned well you’d hate her being so far away.”

Jon grinned as Cate called his bluff.  “Yeah, well.”

“And it’s not that cold.  Actually, it looks like it’s gonna be a gorgeous day.”

Succeeding in removing his shoes, Jon pulled his knees to his chest and sidled closer to Cate.  He reached up to take the edge of the quilt from her grasp, pulling it around his shoulder.   His smile gentled at Cate’s optimistic observation, happy to see his wife in seemingly good spirits.

“Yeah, it’s supposed to be clear and ‘fall-like,’ according to the weather guy.”  Jon tugged again at the quilt, trying to cover his chest with the warm fabric.  He grunted softly at the realization that the covering wasn’t big enough to enclose he and Cate side-by-side.  “Hey, move over a minute.”  He scooted sideways, pushing his hip against Cate’s.

“What are you.. Jon!  Quit hogging the covers!” Cate protested as Jon tugged again at the quilt, making it slip from her shoulder.

“Just hang on…” Jon argued mildly.  He stretched out his legs again, then pushed them apart.  “Here.  Let me get behind you.  Gimme the blanket.”

Cate hmphed at his order, but didn’t protest.  She relinquished her control of the quilt, letting Jon slide it fully onto his shoulders before she crawled rather ungracefully over his leg.  Cate shivered again and cursed under her breath as the cool air braced her bare skin, raising goose pimples on her flesh.

After a good bit of scooting and shifting and adjusting and tugging and prodding,  they finally got comfortable.  Sitting between Jon’s bent knees, Cate pulled her knees back up to her chest.  She sighed softly at the feel of Jon’s firm chest against her back as he encircled her in a snug embrace, pulling the quilt around them like a cape.

“There.  Better?”  Jon’s voice was soft in her ear, his chin resting on her shoulder.

“Better.”  She smiled.  “You?”

Jon chuckled.  “Perfect.”  He tightened his arms around her in a little hug.  He was rewarded with a soft purr of contentment from his wife.

Jon turned his gaze forward, taking in the lovely vista.  He could see why Cate had been drawn to this spot.  The autumn foliage was stunning in the golden morning light, against a backdrop of azure sky and indigo water.  “It really is gorgeous up here,” he observed.  “Steph chose well, if you ask me.”

Cate chuckled.  “Yeah, and the school is actually pretty good, too.”

“Smartass.”  Jon grinned and playfully nuzzled at Cate’s ear.  “So, what were you thinking about, out here all by yourself?”

“Nothing particular.  My mind was just kinda wandering.”  Cate paused, then smiled sheepishly at her unintentional lie.  “Well, okay… I was actually thinking about us.”

“What about us?” Jon pressed his lips against Cate’s shoulder, hiding a little frown.

“Our life so far.  How we met, how you convinced me to go out with you…”

Jon snorted.  “Yeah.  That was no easy feat.”

Cate chuckled at his gentle retort, then continued.  “How nervous I was, going to California with you… meeting your kids… How we got married on the spur of the moment on that beach in Hawaii…”

“Best day ever.”  Jon nibbled lightly at Cate’s shoulder as he gave her another affectionate squeeze.

“And all the good times since.  All the wonderful experiences and moments we’ve shared.  I guess…”  Cate sighed gently.  “I guess lately I’ve just been too focused on… on what we’re going through.”  She fluttered her lashes against the moisture in her eyes.  “I should be grateful.  I’m lucky.”

“We’re lucky.”  Jon gently corrected her.

“Yeah.”  Cate smiled and dropped her gaze from the scenery to her quilt-covered knees.  “We really are.  Even if…”

“That’s not gonna happen.”  Jon cut Cate off, reading her mind.  He didn’t want her to slip back into sadness, when this morning she seemed so upbeat.

Cate turned her head to give him a tender look.  “I know.  We have a plan.”

Jon chuckled and brushed his lips across hers.  “Yes, we do.  Even if I have to mix up that test tube myself, we’re gonna get another little Bongiovi on this Earth.”

Cate giggled at his silliness.  “I’m sure you’d be right there in the lab, frowning at the tech and demanding a play-by-play of the process, if you could.”

“Damn straight.  I’m an involved parent.”  Jon grinned.  But probably all I’m gonna get to do is visit that special little room.”

“Probably so.  Sorry, Baby.”

“Nah, no big deal.  I do it anyway.  May as well make it count.”

Cate laughed aloud at Jon’s tease.  The beautiful, rare sound made Jon’s heart squeeze.  He hugged Cate close, again dropping his chin onto her shoulder and pressing his cheek to hers.  She leaned back against him, her warm body molding to his.

“Like I said last night, Baby…” Jon’s voice turned husky.  “We’ll do the science.  Whatever it takes to get you pregnant.”

Under the quilt, he let one hand slide across her knee and up the inside of her thigh, his fingers trailing over the thin fabric of her track pants.  He smiled as he felt her intake of breath, then felt her open her legs a little bit more to his touch.   Jon turned his head to breathe against Cate’s ear.  “But it can’t hurt to try it again the old-fashioned way, right?”

Cate felt her pulse kick up at Jon’s sultry growl in her ear.  The sensation was almost a surprise to her; it had been a long time since she and Jon had spontaneously made love.  They had had plenty of sex over the past few months, but it had been mostly purposeful and premeditated.  At least on her part.

“No, I suppose not…” Cate felt a tingle of anticipation creep through her as Jon’s teeth closed gently on her earlobe.  She gasped softly when his hand moved from her thigh to her chest.  “But… Dorothea and the boys…”

“Over an hour away.”  Jon reassured her in a silky purr.  His groin twinged in anticipation as Cate shifted her seat, her buttocks pressing firmly against his crotch.  He let the edge of the quilt slip from his grasp and moved his other hand to Cate’s chest.  He breathed against Cate’s ear as both hands curved over her full breasts.

Ohhh….” Cate whimpered softly as she felt her nipples pebble against his palms, though they were securely bound inside her sports tank.  “But Jonny…”  She shivered slightly as the quilt, now unanchored by Jon’s otherwise-occupied hands, slid down her legs  “It’s cold out here…”

“Nah.  It’s nice and warm…”   Jon’s lips found the side of Cate’s neck.  He suckled lightly at her skin, the remnants of her perspiration deliciously salty against his tongue.

Cate chuckled and tipped her head, further exposing her neck to Jon’s mouth.  “But you have clothes on.  I’m hardly wearing anything.”

“We can take care of that.”  Jon chuckled sexily and slid his hands down to the bottom of Cate’s thin microfiber tank.  His fingers curled under the edge and he pulled it upward, exposing her stomach.

Cate gasped softly as her skin was bared to the morning air, and clutched at the edges of the quilt.  Tugging it closed around them, she sighed.  “You promise to keep me warm?”

“Cross my heart.”  Jon lifted a hand to draw an “X” over Cate’s bosom.  His gesture was concealed by the quilt, but Cate smiled as she felt the movement.  “Or cross yours, anyway.”

“Well, okay then…” Cate coyly relented.  She was a little surprised that she was as eager for sex as Jon obviously was.  Surprised, and a little relieved.  Apparently she hadn’t forgotten the deliciousness of spontaneous lovemaking.

She turned her face to Jon’s and sighed at the feel of his lips on hers.  She tasted the excitement in his kiss, something that had been subdued of late.  Cate parted her lips more widely to revel in the feel of his tongue on hers, caressing and stroking, alive with desire.

Jon moaned softly against the kiss, then pulled back.  “Mmmm…  Baby, I want you.”

“You’ve got me.”  Cate breathed.  Giving up on her attempts to hold on to the quilt, she sat forward and turned on her hip, twisting to half-face Jon.

Jon leaned back a bit to give Cate room to move, then snaked his arms around her waist as she quickly closed the space between their bodies.  He chuckled hoarsely as this time her mouth took control of his.  Jon felt himself tilting backward as Cate shifted again, trying to get even closer.

The quilt slipped from Jon’s shoulders as he reclined, puddling around him on the blanket-covered ground.  He felt Cate automatically respond with a shiver.  “Mmmfff… Baby…” Jon mumbled against her lips.  “Hang on…”  He didn’t want to stop kissing her, but he didn’t want her to catch a cold, either.

“Hurry.”

Jon quickly grabbed a fistful of fabric, dragging the tangled quilt from the ground.  With a soft grunt he again claimed Cate’s lips, restoring the kiss while he fumbled blindly behind her back with both hands, attempting to untwist the quilt.   “Dammit,” he rumbled, giving the heavy fabric a frustrated shake.

“Here,” Cate commanded quietly, breaking their contact.  She half-turned again and grasped at the quilt, taking it from Jon’s hands.  She quickly untangled the fabric mass, then shook it out over Jon’s legs.

Cate turned to give Jon a sexy smirk.  “Okay.  Now…”  She hitched the quilt up over her shoulder and leaned into Jon.

He responded with a husky chortle, reclining back on his elbows.  “Now what?” he asked coyly, arching a brow.

Cate reached for the zipper tab at Jon’s chest.  “Now…” she answered as she pulled, slowly unzipping his hoodie to reveal his heavily-furred chest.  “Keep me warm.”  She tugged the two halves of his sweatshirt apart and slid her hands across his abdomen before lowering her torso to his.

Jon grinned and dropped from his elbows, fully reclining on the wool blanket covering the ground.  His hands moved to Cate’s hips, resting there for a moment to steady her as she shifted once more, stretching out her legs between his and rolling onto her belly.  He gasped softly as her belly pressed against his now-fully awakened shaft, then he groaned happily as Cate slithered her body upward against his, settling herself on Jon’s chest.

Cate sighed at the warmth of his bare flesh against hers.  She dropped her lips against his firm pectoral in a gentle kiss.  Then with a devilish chuckle she slipped her mouth to cover Jon’s nipple.

“Ohhh…. Baby…” Jon groaned, his eyes fluttering shut as Cate sucked lightly on the hard peak.  His head tipped back and his hips automatically pressed upward in response to her stimulation.  His cock throbbed as it was sandwiched between their pelvises, the pressure welcome and teasing.

Cate chuckled against Jon’s skin, then raised her face to give him a smile.  The gleam in her swirling sapphire eyes made Jon’s heart squeeze as well as his groin clench.  It had been awhile since Cate had looked at him like that when they made love -- not just with lust, but with her whole soul.

“Get rid of this,” Jon growled, his hands moving swiftly from Cate’s hips to her back.  He hooked his fingers under her tank and yanked it upward.  The garment tangled briefly in Cate’s long hair as he tried to drag it over her head, and she levered herself upward to unsnarl it from her tresses.

Jon groaned as Cate’s bared breasts hovered in front of his face.  Another little gust of chilly air crept under the blanket, causing her dusky nipples to shrink even more.  He reached up to fondle the firm globes of flesh, gently kneading as he stared in fascination at their voluptuous swell.  Cate purred softly at the attention.

“Ohhh… Jonny…” she sighed, bracing her hands against the ground on either side of Jon’s torso to allow him to continue his touch.  “God, Baby…”

“So beautiful…” Jon crooned softly.  He raised his darkened eyes from Cate’s chest to her face, then smiled tenderly as their gazes locked.  He knew what he wanted.  Simple, old-fashioned lovemaking.

“Baby… here.”  Jon slipped his hands from Cate’s breasts to her sides, urging her to lower her body to his.  She complied, and he glided his hands down to her waist.  “Hang on.”

“What?” Cate’s puzzlement sounded in her soft voice.  Jon shifted beneath her, gripping her waist gently as he turned to the side.  “Oh.”  Now understanding, Cate rolled sideways with Jon.  Her arms flailed slightly as she straightened the quilt to keep their bodies covered.

“There we go…” Jon whispered, pulling her body tight against his as they lay facing each other.  His mouth dropped to Cate’s and again they shared a hungry kiss.  Jon’s cock throbbed as he ground his pelvis hard against hers.

“Jon…” Cate purred.  Her free hand moved to push the thin knit of his sweatshirt over his shoulder, baring it.  Jon responded to her silent cue, struggling slightly to shed his hoodie but quickly succeeding.  He wrapped his arms around Cate, the skin-to-skin contact making him sigh blissfully.

Cate savored the embrace for a long moment, then a powerful twitch against her mound made her smirk.  She reached down to tug at the elastic waist of Jon’s track pants, pulling the band downward to bare his left buttock.  Her hand curved around the firm flesh and she squeezed.

Jon chuckled and responded in kind, his hand slipping under the elastic of her jogging togs and into her panties.  He gave Cate’s ass a gentle grope before sliding his hand up to her hip and pushing downward at the waist of her pants.

Wordlessly Cate and Jon worked to undress each other, pushing and tugging and wiggling until they managed to kick free of their lower garments.  Jon re-adjusted the quilt over them, ensuring they were protected from the chilly air.  He smirked silently as he realized he and Cate were both still wearing their socks.  Only their socks.

“Warm enough?” he murmured as he lowered his mouth to Cate’s.  She hummed an “Mmm Hmm” against the kiss in reply.  Her arms slipped around Jon’s waist and she molded herself to him, her soft curves yielding to his firm planes.

A growl of arousal rumbled from deep in Jon’s throat as the kiss intensified.  His cock twitched again, urgently reminding his brain of its readiness.  Heeding the signal, Jon slithered his hand down Cate’s back and across her hip.  His fingers slid between their tightly-meshed bodies, seeking the source of his pleasure.

Cate gasped softly as Jon tunneled his fingers through her curls and between her folds.  She didn’t know when it had happened, but somehow she had become instantly and thoroughly wet.  She chortled quietly when she realized that shouldn’t surprise her… he had always been able to make her moist with just a look.

“Lay back,” Jon commanded in a hoarse whisper.  Cate silently obliged, rolling reluctantly away from him though she knew their contact would be momentarily restored.  She panted softly in anticipation, her sapphire eyes dark and wide as she stared up at him.

Jon paused for a moment and smiled down at Cate.  She looked beautiful, her cheeks flushed a delicate pink, her mahogany tresses fanned out against the dark brown blanket, her eyes swirling and gleaming with anticipation.  He missed seeing her like this, fully in the moment, lost in their passion.  In her expression he saw no hint of sadness or worry.  Only desire.

“Jonny…” Her whisper urged him to continue.  Jon nodded slowly, then eased on top of her.  Cate sighed blissfully as his hands braced on either side of her shoulders, then his knee nudged apart her legs.  She willingly opened herself to him, purring as she felt his shaft press against her cleft.

Jon moaned softly as he rubbed his cock against the soft strip of hair cloaking Cate’s womanhood.  The sensation was delicious.  But not as good as what they were about to share.

“Look at me,” Jon whispered, his eyes locking with Cate’s.  He stared intently into the sapphire pools, wanting to see the very moment in her gaze.  He retracted his hips, feeling his head slide into place against her warm opening.  Then he slowly, steadily pushed forward.

Cate’s eyes widened with delight as Jon filled her.  It was as if he was moving in slow motion, inching his manhood inside her tingling womb, so dialed-in were her senses.  Her lips parted in a silent moan, only a soft breath escaping her.  Above her she saw nothing but glittering azure.  Inside her she felt nothing but rigid flesh.  On top of her she felt nothing but warm muscle covered by soft skin and downy fur.

It was almost rapturous.

Jon exhaled at Cate’s expression.  It was primally beautiful, her pale skin and glittering midnight eyes against the backdrop of her fiery mane.  At this moment she was clearly more fire than ice.

Cate stared up at Jon for a long moment, transfixed by his passion-painted face.  For a long moment he stared back.  Then, without a word spoken between them, they began their practiced dance of desire.

Jon’s hips rolled slowly, making Cate gasp with delight.  She whimpered softly as he half-withdrew, then yelped hoarsely as he plunged back inside.  It only took three repeats of the sequence for her to feel the onset of her climax.  The tingling started in her feet, then raced up her legs to her middle.  The sensation subsided abruptly, as if it was swallowed by her core’s own pulsing energy.

Oh!  Jon…”  Cate grimaced involuntarily, her womb suddenly and violently contracting.

“Let go,” he whispered hoarsely.  “Let it go, Baby…”  Jon grunted as again his cock was assaulted by her clenching muscles.  “Come on…”

“But Jonny….” Cate panted.  “You…”

“Shhhh.” Jon stilled her.  “Let go, Baby.  I’m with you.”

The quiet reassurance was enough for Cate.  She gasped and whimpered and shuddered under Jon as her orgasm possessed her, overtaking her control and her senses.

The warm, wet rush of her release ignited Jon.  Wanting to prolong her ecstasy, he dropped to his elbows, pinning Cate beneath him.  He thrusted powerfully against the violent fractures of her orgasm, his swollen head dragging hard against her sensitized walls.   With a hoarse yelp and a long moan he came, his seed met by another wave of wet heat from Cate’s womb.

Dropping his forehead against Cate’s chest, Jon panted for breath.  After a long moment he raised his face to look at her.  Her lips were painted with a smile of wonderment, her face awash with relief.  Jon looked into his wife’s swirling blue eyes and saw that her release was not just physical, but emotional.  She looked dazed, but utterly and completely content.

Jon’s heart squeezed again at her beauty, and he lowered his lips against her skin.  He pressed a kiss to her breast, then turned his cheek to rest on her chest.  Her heartbeat under his ear made him smile.

Cate didn’t know how long they had laid there, lost in the afterburn, when Jon finally moved.  Without a word he slipped from her, then carefully settled next to her on the blanket, reclining on his side with his head pillowed on his bent arm.  She turned her face to him and saw his tender smile.

Jon pursed his lips into a silent “Shhh,” and raised a hand to her face.  He stroked back a lock of auburn hair and tucked it behind Cate’s ear, then laid his hand gently against her cheek.

They gazed silently at each other for a long time, listening to the sounds of the awakening forest.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

TWELVE

Cate cringed as a shrill whistle pierced the air near her ear.

She shot Jon a sideways glance, then couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiastic outburst.  He was bundled up to the chin, the collar of his heavy coat turned up against the night autumn chill.  His hands shoved deep in his coat pockets, Jon bounced on the balls of his feet as he surveyed the pageantry unfolding before him.

Despite his warm attire Jon seemed unfazed by the weather, his excitement obvious in his ruddy cheeks, sparkling blue eyes, and ear-to-ear grin.  Beside him Stephanie looked on, her expression and actions strikingly similar to those of her father.

Cate smiled to herself as she turned her attention back to the pre-homecoming ritual.  Her eyes swept over the portable bleachers, arranged in an arc around the perimeter of the field and filled with excited students, proud parents, and jolly alumni.  In front of the seating perky cheerleaders shouted out chants and somersaulted across the grounds, urging the crowd to join in their cheers.

Behind them a marching band stood in formation around a towering pile of brush and kindling that would soon be ignited for the traditional bonfire.  At their forefront, the spirited drum corps beat out a funky syncopated cadence, charging the festive air.  On the far edge of the field a crowd of large young men huddled together, first growling, then chanting, then shouting out their allegiance to each other, their coach, and their school, bouncing and swaying together in their excitement.

A wave of nostalgia washed over Cate as the sights and sounds of the pep rally took her back in time to her own college days.  Back to the days when she was like Stephanie, flush with the excitement of newfound independence and intellectual discovery.  Back to a time when she was cocky and carefree, and her only worry was how early she would be able to escape Friday classes for Happy Hour.  Back to a time when she and Danny and their friends dreamed of what their future would hold but weren’t in a hurry to find out.

It seemed like just yesterday, yet a hundred years ago.

Cate’s smile gentled as she again turned to look at Jon.  She chuckled huskily to herself as she realized that never in her wildest college dreams had she imagined herself standing here – or anywhere – with Him.  As wonderful as those college days were, she wouldn’t go back there if she could.  Her life now was so much better, even when it was difficult.    

As she watched her husband’s gleeful response to the perky cheerleaders bouncing back and forth in front of the bleachers, Cate’s heart squeezed.  He looked so happy and relaxed, reveling in his role as Proud Papa.  As if he could read her thoughts, Jon slipped an arm around his daughter and gave her a little hug before releasing her to clap and whistle loudly as the football team charged onto the field.

This weekend was exactly what he needed, a distraction from the hardships of the past few months.  Their medical issues aside, Jon had been under a great deal of stress, juggling his Foundation and Committee work, his business, his rejuvenating acting career, and his music.  He hadn’t had enough time to spend with his children, especially Stephanie.

Cate shook her head slowly in affirmation of her thoughts.  This weekend was about Jon’s family.  Nothing else.  Despite her vow to her physician, Cate was determined not to let their disappointing news of this morning cast a shadow over her husband’s happiness.  Discussion of their uncertain future could wait.

Jon felt Cate’s eyes on him.  He turned his head to give her a quizzical smirk.  “What?”

“Nothing.”

Jon leaned closer, shouting to be heard over the raucous crowd surrounding them.  “You’re giving me that look again.”

Cate grinned.  “What look?”  She knew exactly what he meant, but she played along.

“You know.”

“No, I don’t.  I was just watching you.  There was no ‘look’.”

Jon grinned and leaned in even closer, so his mouth was next to Cate’s ear.  “Yes there was. I know that look.  That’s the “I’m the luckiest woman in the world, I get to go home and fuck a rockstar’ look.”  He pulled back to give Cate a naughty smirk, his blue eyes dancing merrily.

Cate rolled her eyes but chuckled as she leaned in to reply.  “No it wasn’t.  If that was any ‘look’ it was the ‘look at the middle-aged goofball acting like a frat boy’ look.”  Her tease was gentle.  She leaned back to match Jon’s smirk.

“Yeah, right.  C’mere, you.”  Jon circled Cate’s waist with an arm and pulled her against him.  Cate gladly snuggled up to his side as Jon dropped a kiss against her hair.

“Okay, maybe it was more like the ‘I love seeing my husband have so much fun with his daughter’ look,” Cate admitted, turning her face up to Jon’s as she spoke.  She slipped her arm around Jon’s waist and gave him a squeeze.  “I’m glad we’re here.”

“Me too, Baby.”  Jon smiled and brushed a kiss across Cate’s lips, then again murmured into her ear.  “But that ‘go home and fuck a rockstar’ thing is definitely an option.  Just sayin’.”

Cate laughed and nodded, her chill-pinkened cheek rubbing against the rough wool of Jon’s coat.  “We’ll see.”

“Maybe I can persuade…”

Jon’s playful response was cut off by a loud, brassy blast from the marching band.  He paused and gave Cate a grin and a saucy wink, then turned his gaze back to the field.  His arm remained around her waist, holding her close against his side, warming her against the frosty night’s chill.

On Jon’s other side, Stephanie glanced sideways.  She smiled at the sight of her father and stepmother standing close together, grinning as they watched the antics on the field.  Though she had never quite understood why her mother and father divorced, Stephanie was glad Jon had found Cate.  She was good for him, and he was clearly devoted to her.

With a happy sigh Stephanie snuggled back against Brendan, who was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist.  She turned her head away from her parents and leaned to the side to look up at her handsome beau’s face.  The two young people shared a conspiratorial smile, then Steph leaned up to murmur in Brendan’s ear.

“Don’t think we’re gonna have any problem ditching Daddy and Cate.”

Brendan chuckled.  “No?”

“Nope.  Look at them.  They want to be alone as much as we do.”  Stephanie pulled back to give Brendan a saucy wink.

Brendan grunted softly as Stephanie’s buttocks ground against his crotch.  “God, I hope so,” he growled.

“Soon, Babe.” Stephanie smirked again.  “Just hang in there.”  She straightened and turned her attention back forward.

Brendan blew out a long breath and dipped his chin to rest on Stephanie’s shoulder.  “I’m trying.  Can this fucking rally get over, already?”

Stephanie giggled and crossed her arms over Brendan’s around her middle.  “Patience,” she chided quietly.  “Good things come to those who wait.  Multiple times.”  She snickered dirtily at her not-so-subtle double-entendre.

Brendan groaned again in response.

For the next hour the night was filled with electricity.  The band played rousing fight songs, the cheerleaders chanted and climbed and shook their pom-poms, and the Dean, the Student Body President, the Football Coach, and the Captain of the football team all gave inspirational and boisterous speeches.  Finally the sky was lit with orange flame as the huge brush pile was ignited to signal the end of the official pep rally.

Throughout the event, Jon kept a close eye on Cate.  She seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself, though he saw the familiar weariness in her smile.  Jon knew she must be exhausted; they had both endured a long, emotional rollercoaster ride of a day.

When finally the bonfire was lit and the crowd started to disperse, Jon turned to Stephanie.

“So, you two gonna hang out here awhile?  Or do you want a lift back to your dorm for that party?”

Stephanie’s eyes widened with surprise.  She had been sure her father would stay out here until the bonfire was reduced to a pile of smoldering embers.  “Umm… I guess we’ll hang here awhile.  The party doesn’t start until later.”  She tilted her head.  “You guys going back to the cabin?”

Jon nodded and looked at Cate.  “Yeah, think so.  I’m beat.”  He saw the surprise in her expression, but she didn’t argue.  “Cate’s tired too.  It’s been a long week.”

Stephanie shrugged.  “If you wanna go, it’s cool.”  She looked at the group of students gathering near the bonfire’s edge.  “Actually, there are a couple of my friends.”  Stephanie pointed in the group’s direction.  “We can catch a ride back to the dorm with them.”

Jon raised a brow and gave Brendan a half-smirk.  “And how about you, Brendan?  Need a ride to the frat house?”

“Jon,” Cate warned him gently.  Her hand slipped into the crook of his arm.

“No thanks, Mr. B.  Connor’s gonna meet me at the party.”  Brendan squirmed slightly under Jon’s appraising stare.  He wasn’t lying to Steph’s Dad – his friend was going to attend the party at the Quad.  Brendan just wouldn’t be going home with him after the party.  He already had a place to sleep.

“Alright.”  Jon gave Brendan another stern look for good measure, then stuck out his hand.  “We’ll see you in the morning, then.  Be careful at the party.  Call a cab if you need to, or call me.”

Stephanie smiled as she rolled her eyes.  “Daddy, we’ll be fine.”  She stepped forward to plant a kiss on his stubbly cheek  and give him a brief hug.  “Don’t worry.”

“That’s my job, to worry.”

“Well, take a night off.”  Stephanie gave her father a sweet smile.  “I’m a big girl.”

Her words made Jon’s heart squeeze.  “I know, Princess.”  His smile turned bittersweet.  “You’re a woman.”

“Ugh.”  Stephanie couldn’t hide her impatience any longer.  “Daddy, seriously…”

Cate chuckled and stepped in.  “Come on, Jon.  Steph’s got plans.  Let’s get out of here and let her get on with them.”  She leaned in to buss the girl’s cheek.  “Night, Steph.  Have a good time.”

“Thanks, Cate.  We will.”

“And be careful.”  Cate couldn’t stop the warning before it slipped from her lips.  She gave Stephanie a sheepish smile.  “Sorry.  Can’t help myself.  Cop.”

Stephanie chuckled and leaned against Brendan.  “I know.  S’Okay.  I will.”

“Alright… Good night.  I’ll text you when I hear from your Mama.”  Jon slipped his hand into Cate’s and took a hesitant step away from his daughter.  “See you in the morning.”

“’Night, Daddy.  ‘Night, Cate.”

With another reluctant smile, Jon turned away from Stephanie and Brendan.  He carefully climbed down the bleachers, leading Cate by the hand.  When they were on firm footing, he glanced back over his shoulder to see his daughter and her boyfriend sharing a kiss.

Cate chuckled.  “You wanna stay?”

“Nah.  They don’t want us around.”  Jon shrugged and gave Cate a rueful smile.  “Besides, it has been a long day.  These old bones are tired.”

Cate sighed and nodded.  “Yeah, me too.”

“Well, then…” Jon slipped an arm around Cate’s waist.  “Let’s go home.”

*****
Cate stared unseeingly at the flickering tongues of fire behind the iron scrollwork screen.  The dancing flames would have been hypnotic if her mind hadn’t been otherwise occupied.

“Here ya go, Baby.”

Cate jumped slightly at Jon’s soft voice.  She looked up to see him smiling down at her, holding out a mug in offering.

“What’s this?”

“Warm apple cider.  To thaw you out.”

“Uh… Thanks, Babe, but…”

Jon cut off her protest.  “It’s organic, and it’s just cider.  With a little cinnamon.  No extra kick.”  He pushed the mug a little closer to Cate. “Here, take it.”

Cate smiled tiredly.  “Okay.  Thank you.”  She reached up to take the ceramic cup from Jon’s grasp.  Its warmth in her hands was comforting.

Jon nodded a silent “you’re welcome” before setting his mug on the cocktail table and lowering himself to the floor with a groan.  He settled beside Cate, leaning back against the heavy leather couch and stretching his legs out toward the fireplace.  Jon reached for his mug of cider and pushed it toward Cate, offering her a toast.

Cate reached up to touch her mug to Jon’s then raised it to her lips.  She purred softly as the sweet, warm beverage slipped down her throat.   “Mmmm…  Baby, that’s good.”

Jon chuckled.  “Thought you’d like it.  Better than that shitty tea you drink.”

Cate snorted quietly.  “Yeah, well…”  She turned her gaze back to the fire, though a gentle smile remained on her lips.

Jon sighed and moved closer to Cate.  He slipped his arm around her shoulders, then turned his blue eyes to the fire.  A little smirk curved his mouth as a happy memory flashed in his mind.

“You remember our first date?”

Cate’s brows lifted in surprise, then she nodded.  “Of course.”  Her smile broadened and she tipped her head against Jon’s shoulder.  “How could I forget?  One of the most romantic nights of my life.”  She chuckled softly.  “What made you think of that now?”

“Sitting here on the floor with you.  Remember how every time I tried to make a move on you the damned furniture kept sliding?”

A musical laugh escaped from Cate’s throat, warming Jon’s heart.  “Yeah, well.  That probably had something to do with all the wine we drank.  The furniture didn’t move on its own, you know.”  She took another sip of her cider.

“Until we went out onto the deck.”  Jon sighed softly, a little growl roughening the sound.  “Then things stopped moving.”

Cate echoed his sigh, feeling her pulse quicken at the memory.  “Yeah… the furniture, at least.”

“You smoked my cigar.  And fed me strawberries.”  Jon groaned again, his smile darkening.  “That was so fucking sexy…”

“I couldn’t help myself.  You were… just…” Cate hesitated, searching for the perfect word to describe the memory.  “Exquisite.”  She sighed dreamily.  “My God, Jon… I would have done anything for you that night.  Anything.  I was all yours, putty in your hands.”

Jon smiled at her admission.  “Well, I kinda liked the way it turned out… you falling asleep in my arms.”  He turned his head to place a kiss against Cate’s hair.  “It was romantic.”

“Until we both woke up with raging hangovers, anyway.”  Cate chuckled ironically.

“Yeah, but somehow we both survived.”  Jon set his mug on the floor at his side and reached up to caress Cate’s cheek.  She turned her face to his and they shared a sweet smile.

“Seems like a lifetime ago,” Cate observed quietly.

“Uh huh.”  Jon nodded slowly.  “But it’s only been a few years.  A few wonderful years.” He tipped his head to touch his forehead to Cate’s.  “And there’s a lot more to come, Baby.  For you and me… For our family.”

Cate’s heart clenched at Jon’s words.  She tried to hide her reaction, but her smile faltered.  She knew in an instant that he noticed.

“Cate, can we talk about what happened this morning?’”

“Jon…” Cate sighed softly.  “I don’t… this weekend…  It’s supposed to be your time with your kids.  With Stephanie.”  She swallowed hard.  “I don’t want this to ruin that.”

Jon pulled back and shook his head slowly, his blue eyes locking with Cate’s.  “Baby, you don’t get it.  I want to talk about this – about us.  This weekend is about family, and you are my family.”  He smiled gently.  “How am I supposed to not think about this?  It affects both of us.”

Cate was silent for a moment, searching Jon’s gaze.  The sparkling indigo depths betrayed nothing, no fear or anger.  Only sincerity and affection.

She sighed again, her shoulders slumping.  “Okay.”  She turned her face away from Jon’s, her gaze settling again on the fire.

“Okay.”  Jon shifted and pulled Cate closer.  “So.  This morning sucked.”  He chuckled half-heartedly.  “There’s just no other way to put it.”  He paused and was heartened to hear a soft chuckle from Cate as well.  “But it’s done, so the question is, where do we go from here?”

“Well, I guess we go see Dr. Klein on Friday.”  Cate’s voice was lightly tinged with bitterness.  “And after that, more tests.”

“Yeah, I got that part from talking to Dr. Seuss.”  Jon picked up his mug and took another drink of cider.  “I know there are gonna be more doctors and more tests, Baby.  All that scientific shit… I don’t wanna think about that tonight.”

Cate sighed, a little relieved.  She wasn’t capable of turning on her science-brain at the moment.   “Me either.”  She returned her gaze to the dancing flames.

“Jane said we need to think about how far we want to go with this… process.”

“Uh huh.”

“In other words… what we’re willing to do for a baby.  And what we aren’t.”

“Yeah.”

Jon paused for a long moment.  “Cate… You do still want to have a baby, don’t you?”

His question surprised her.  “Yes, Jon.  Of course.”  Cate swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry.  “Do you?  Still want to have another child?”  She turned her head to see his response.

“Yeah, I do.  I really do.”  Jon reached up to lightly tap the end of Cate’s nose, giving her a little smirk.  “Hell, I’d like to have four more.  But one thing at a time.”

“Well, I don’t know about four…”  Cate couldn’t help but smile at Jon’s reply.  She sighed gain, more gently this time.  “So, I guess we have some decisions to make.”

“Yeah.”

Jon was quiet for a moment, his eyes on the fireplace.  “Baby, you’re the one who is going to have to go through the most.  So I guess… I guess whatever you want is what I want.”  He turned his head to give Cate a soulful look.  “But I want to make it clear, right now.  Cate, I’m willing to do whatever it takes.  Money, travel, doctors, exotic treatments… Whatever you want to do, I’m there with you one hundred percent.”

Cate’s eyes moistened at her husband’s earnest declaration.  “I know.  And thanks.  But this is about you, too.  Surely you must have some feelings about how to deal with our… Infertility.”  Her heart clenched as the ugly word passed her lips.

Jon’s reaction was immediate.  “Don’t.”  He gently pressed a finger to Cate’s lips.  He shook his head slowly.  “She’s wrong.  I know it.”

“Jon…”

No.  I don’t accept her diagnosis.”  Jon drew his fingertip down to Cate’s chin and gave her a serious look.  “There’s got to be a reason for our… difficulties.  We’ll figure it out and work through it.”  He gave her a tight-lipped smile.  “There’s an answer.  We just have to find it.”

Jon dropped his hand to her lap as Cate nodded mutely.  His fingers curved over the back of Cate’s hand, twining between hers.  “So,” he said softly.  “You’ve done the research.  What are our options?”

Cate took a breath.  “Well, of course the first thing we have to do are these additional tests.  What Dr. Klein finds there will tell us if we have several options or just a few.  Or..”  Her voice trailed off, unable to finish her sentence with the word “none.”

“Okay, best-case scenario.  Your tests show you’re normal and healthy.  No physical reason for… for you to not get pregnant.  So then what?”

“Well, then there are a couple things.  Some of them go hand-in hand.”  Cate’s soft voice evened out.  “Most likely the first thing Dr. Klein would have us try is an ovulation stimulant therapy.”

“Drugs?”  Jon’s brow creased with worry, though he knew the answer.

“Yes.  Oral and injected.”  Cate nodded slowly and gave Jon a long look.  “But mostly hormones, like the ones Jane told you about this morning.  Basically we’d load up my body with the right kinds of hormones and try to get it to produce more eggs, in the hopes that at least one of them would be fertilized and attach.”

“More targets, greater chance of a baby,” Jon echoed softly.  His lips curved upward.  “But that also means a better chance that we could have more than one.”

“Yes.  Stimulated ovulation would increase the chance of twins.  Or triplets.”  Cate winced involuntarily as she said the word.  Then she couldn’t help but smile at Jon’s reaction.

“Actually, that would be kinda cool.  Twins.”  Jon chuckled as a grin lit his face.

“I’m not so sure about that.”  Cate grimaced again, then gave Jon an apologetic smile.  “I’m not sure I could handle twins.  Hell, I’m not sure I can handle one baby.”  She sighed.  “I just… God, Jonny.  What if we go through all this and I turn out to suck as a mother?”

Jon chortled softly and squeezed Cate’s hand.  “No chance.  You’re gonna be a fantastic mother.  I know it.”

Cate took a deep breath, then sighed again.  “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Babe.  Not so sure I share it, but anyway…”  She smiled gently.  “That’s a risk of superovulation.  Multiple births.”

“Okay, so what else is there?  IVF?”

Cate nodded slowly.  “Yes, but  there’s also IUI.  That’s kind of the next step before IVF.”

“Remind me what that is again?”  Jon recalled the acronym, but he wanted to keep Cate talking.  He knew verbalizing soothed her, let her work through things in her mind and her heart.  He wasn’t sure she even realized that about herself, but he did.

“That’s Intrauterine Insemination.  The sperm are collected from the male, washed, then inserted into the uterus around the time of ovulation.  Basically gives the swimmers a little help going upstream.”  Cate chuckled at the analogy.

“So that means I get to go see Doris again, huh?  Awesome.”  Jon’s tease was gentle.  “Next time I’m bringing my own porn though.  Or you can come with me.”  He gave Cate a little wink.

She giggled softly at his invitation.  “Yeah, well.  That’s not exactly the way I’d like to conceive our baby… but if that’s what it comes down to, I guess that’s what we’ll do.”

“So, first we’d try to do it the natural way, just with ovulation drugs.  Then we’d try to shoot my boys up in there.  Then what?”

Cate’s smile faded a little.  “Then I guess we’d try IVF.  Have the scientists do their thing, mix my eggs and your sperm in a petri dish, then implant them and hope for the best.”  She sighed sadly.  “Again, not exactly what I’d hoped for, but …”

“But if that’s what it takes, that’s what we’ll do.” Jon finished her sentence, his voice tender.

“Yeah.”  Cate nodded, then was quiet for a moment.  “But if that doesn’t work…”

Jon pulled in a breath.  “Well, then I guess… we have to think about other stuff.  But the IVF, and the IUI… they’re not one-shot deals, right?  We can try them a couple times, if it doesn’t work right away?”

Cate looked down at her lap, at Jon’s hand covering hers.  His wedding band glinted softly in the firelight.  “Yes, we can try more than once.  But each time, the chances of success are lower.  Until…”

“Until we decide it’s time to stop.”  Jon’s voice suddenly sounded hollow.  He cleared his throat, then took a breath.

“One of the things Jane mentioned was… was involving other people.  Donors, surrogates…”  He paused again.  “How do you feel about that?”

Jon turned to watch Cate’s expression.  His heart squeezed as she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, one of her unconscious “tells” when she was troubled.  Slowly she shook her head, then turned her dark blue gaze to him.

“I don’t think I can do that, Jon.”  Cate gave him an apologetic look.  “I… I don’t just want a baby.  I want our baby.  And even if genetically it would be ours…”  She took a deep breath.  “The thought of another woman carrying and giving birth to your child…”

Our child,” Jon gently corrected her.  “If we used a surrogate, it would be our baby.”

Cate swallowed hard and nodded.  “Yes, but I just don’t think I could deal with that.  With another woman being so intensely and primally connected with my child… I just….”  Again she shook her head.  “No.  I’d rather not have a baby at all, than have to share it with someone else.”

Jon let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding.  He nodded empathetically and squeezed Cate’s hand.  “I’m with you.  Cate, I want another child.  With you.  Only with you.  And if that’s not meant to be… well, then I don’t want it to be.”

Cate’s relief was obvious.  Her shoulders slumped as she breathed out, her eyes sparkling with the beginnings of tears.

Though she had tried hard to remain optimistic as she considered all their potential options, Cate had decided early on that involving a donor or surrogate was a deal-breaker for her.  She had been afraid that Jon would see things differently.  His desire for another child was so strong that it sometimes seemed he would stop at nothing to add to his family.

“I’m glad you feel that way too,” Cate half-whispered.  “I can’t imagine sharing that part of you with anyone else.”

Jon smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on her trembling lips.  When he pulled back she was smiling.

“Okay, then.  So I guess we’ll see what’s what with this next round of tests, then we’ll take it a step at a time.  Do whatever Dr. Klein recommends, as long as it’s just you and me.  Right?”

Cate nodded, her sapphire eyes sparkling in the firelight.  “Yeah.”  She nodded slowly.  “Jon… thank you.”

Jon’s eyes moistened at her soft words.  “For what?”

“For understanding.”

Jon grinned and chuckled huskily.  “Well, I won’t pretend I always understand you, Baby.  But if I’m gonna do it just once…”  His smile gentled.  “I’m glad it’s now.”

Cate’s soft laugh filled Jon’s heart as he again touched his lips to hers.  They savored a lingering kiss of comfort and reassurance before taking a long, silent moment to gaze at each other in the firelight.

“So.”  Jon gave Cate a little wink.  “Now that we have a game plan, guess we just gotta stick to the playbook, huh?”

Cate giggled quietly at his corny football metaphors.  Somehow they seemed even more apropos on this Homecoming weekend.  “I guess so.  I assume you’re the Q-B?”

“Of course.  I don’t know how to be anything else.”  Jon grinned playfully.  “And I think, even though we have a change in game strategy, we gotta keep the fundamentals sharp.”  He gently disengaged his hand from Cate’s and trailed it up her body, to her cleavage.

Cate giggled again as she felt Jon’s palm curve over her breast.  “Oh, that old ‘practice makes perfect’ line again?”

Jon winked and nodded.  “Yep.”  He shifted on his hip, trying to turn more toward Cate.  With the action he pushed hard against the leather sofa at their backs.  With a loud grating noise the divan gave way, the heavy piece sliding several inches away from them on the hardwood floor.

The sudden movement caught Jon and Cate fully by surprise.  Jon let out a yelp as he listed sideways, unable to keep himself from toppling onto the floor.  Cate squeaked as she went with him, landing half-beside him on the rug, half-on top of him.

They were momentarily stunned by the sudden movement, then Jon began to laugh.  Cate dropped her head against Jon’s chest as her giggles joined his.

“SonofaBITCH!”  Jon swore without venom.  “What is it with us and fucking furniture?”  His arm tightened around Cate, hugging her against him as he lay prone on the carpet.

Cate gasped a breath through her mirth.  “I don’t… I don’t know,” she commiserated breathily.  “We really should… stay ON… the furniture… I guess.”  She lapsed into another fit of giggles as Jon laughed again in response.

They lay on the rug together, laughing and holding each other, for a long moment before Cate raised her head to give Jon a smile.  He grinned back at her.  “So, I guess I’m not gettin’ laid, since tonight we seem to be reliving moments from our first date?”

Cate snorted, then smiled sympathetically.  “It’s not exactly like our first date.  We’re not drinking wine, you’re not singing to me, we’re not drunk-dialing Richie…”  She chuckled.  “In fact, it’s nothing like our first date.  Except for your ineptitude with home furnishings.”

Jon groaned playfully, then gave Cate another squeeze.  He raised his head and gave her a sincere look, his eyes glowing with affection.  “Yeah, well.  We’re older and wiser now.  And quite frankly, Baby…”  Jon reached up to brush back a thick lock of auburn hair from Cate’s cheek.  “I’d be perfectly happy to have you just fall asleep in my arms tonight, like you did back then.”

Cate’s heart melted at his sweet sentiment.  She gazed back at Jon for a moment, then lowered her head against his chest.  She sighed gently as she listened to the rhythmic beat of his heart under her ear, then she felt his arms tighten around her.

Cate nestled her cheek against Jon’s chest and closed her eyes, pulling in a deep breath.  As she let it go, she felt the worry and sadness of the day flow from her body, replaced by calm.

Jon smiled and dropped his head back to the floor.  He could feel Cate relax, her body melting against his.  He took a deep breath of his own, then sighed with contentment.  “We’re gonna be okay, Baby,” he whispered as his eyes closed.

“I know,” she replied.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

ELEVEN

“Ahhh.”  Jon smacked his lips as he set the half-empty pint glass back on its paper coaster.  “Nothin’ better than cold beer and pizza.”  He leaned back in his chair, reaching up to drape his arm across the back of Cate’s seat beside him.

Cate shot her husband an envious look as she dabbed at her lips with her paper napkin.  Of all the things she had given up in their quest for parenthood, she missed coffee and cold beer the most.

Across the table from her father, Stephanie snorted quietly.  She agreed wholeheartedly with his observation, but it wasn’t like she could partake of the forbidden beverage.  At least not until she and Brendan managed to get away from her Dad and Stepmom.

Cate noticed Stephanie’s wordless response.  She smiled, practically reading the girl’s mind.  Cate had no doubt Stephanie had done her share of beer-drinking in her new-found independence.  After all, she was in many ways her father’s daughter.

Jon grinned widely at the young couple on the other side of the table.  His blue eyes twinkled merrily as he poked at his daughter, having also noticed her reaction.  “Someday, Princess, you’ll come to appreciate the finer things in life… the joys of adulthood.  Like good scotch, a fine cigar… and ice-cold beer.”

Stephanie curled her lip at his tease.  “Who says I don’t appreciate the ‘finer things’ in life now?” she challenged playfully.  “I’m eighteen, you know.  Legally, I’m an adult.”

“Ah, but eighteen isn’t the legal age for drinking.  Not anymore.”  Jon wagged a finger at his daughter.

Again Stephanie snorted and rolled her eyes.  “Oh puh-lease.  Like you and Mom didn’t drink before you were eighteen?”  She gave her father a direct look.  “Papa B told me all about your Hell-raising when you were a teenager.”

“Well thank God he told you all the shit I pulled as a kid.”  Jon grinned.  “ ‘Cause he don’t even know the half of it.”

“Just the parts where he had to pick you up from the lockup?”  Cate chimed in as she raised her water glass to take a sip.  “Good thing all those juvenile records have been expunged.”  She smirked playfully at her husband.

Brendan chuckled at Cate’s comment.  “So the stories are true, huh Mr. B?”  His question would have sounded bolder were it not for the slight nervous tremor in his voice.

Jon turned his blue-eyed stare to the young man, gazing at him for a long second before answering.  “Maybe.  Depends which ones you’re talking about.”

“Uh… you know.  The stuff you talk about in interviews, and onstage during your concerts.” Brendan fidgeted in his seat, then looked at Stephanie.  Her reassuring smile bolstered Brendan’s confidence as her hand slipped into his under the table.

Jon nodded.  “Sure. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.”  He glanced sideways at Cate and gave her a tiny wink before continuing.  “But what other stories have you heard, Brendan?  I’m sure there’s more.”

“Umm…”   Brendan felt Stephanie give his hand a little squeeze.  He looked again at her and saw her secretive smile.  Emboldened by her gesture, the young man turned his gaze to meet Jon’s.  “Well, those pictures.  The ones with you and the naked chicks.”  He paused for a breath.  “That must have been true.  I mean, since there were pictures and everything…”

Cate almost choked on her water.  She sputtered for a moment, trying to swallow and laugh at the same time.

“You okay, Babe?”  Jon patted Cate not-so-gently on the back as she gasped in several breaths between giggles.  He gave her a quizzical smirk when she turned her flushed face to him.

“Fine,” she answered hoarsely.  “But I’m dying to hear your answer to that one.”  She tipped her head toward Brendan.

Cate knew Jon had talked to both Stephanie and Jesse about the lewd pictures when they had surfaced several years ago, and that both his children had found his explanation humorous.  But she was both surprised and impressed that Brendan had the balls to bring up the topic.

Jon rubbed his hand gently over the spot between Cate’s shoulder blades where he had slapped her moments ago.  “Hey, I’m just gonna tell the kid the truth.”  He swiveled his gaze back to Brendan and have him a lecherous grin.  “It’s all true, Son.  And then some.”

“Oh, Daddy!”  Stephanie rolled her eyes again.  “Good grief.”

“Naw, Stephie… Brendan asked, I’m gonna answer,” Jon mock-argued against her protest.  He again looked to Stephanie’s boyfriend.  “It was the Eighties, I was single, we were in a rock-and-roll band, and there were lots of women around.  Those pictures were just some snaps from a typical night on the road.”  He grinned proudly.  “And it was a LONG damned tour.”

“Jesus, Jon.”  This time Cate rolled her eyes.  “Even Brendan can smell the bullshit in that answer.”  She chuckled as she shook her head.

Stephanie set the record straight.  “Don’t listen to him,” she sighed, shaking her head at her boyfriend.  “Those pictures were from a shoot for Playboy.  They didn’t really know those women.”

“Well, Richie and Al got to know a couple of them later…” Jon interrupted, smirking mischievously.  He chuckled, then shook his head, mirroring his daughter’s gesture.  “Nah, Brendan, it’s what Steph said.  We did a shoot for Playboy, the chicks were models or porn stars or something.  It was never published.  Our former road manager grabbed the shots, and sold them when he needed cash and had an axe to grind.  Simple as that.”

Brendan grinned sheepishly back at Stephanie’s father.  “But still… you got to roll around with a bunch of naked chicks.  That probably didn’t suck.”

Jon chuckled and shook his head, then reached for his beer.  “No, my Boy, it definitely didn’t suck.  Not at all.”  He took a long drink, almost emptying the glass.  “That was when I was a young turk, living out the rock star life, the way I thought it should be.”  Jon turned his smile to Cate.  “But that’s not who I am.  Real life is a damned lot better than that rock star bullshit.”

Cate returned his smile.  Though Jon’s reply was in response to Brendan’s query, she could see in his eyes that his words were directed at her.  Her heart warmed as Jon held her gaze for a long moment, then they both looked across the table to see Stephanie and Brendan sharing their own affectionate exchange.

Jon cleared his throat, interrupting their moment.  “So, Stephie… I was thinking you could come stay at the cabin with us tonight.  There’s plenty of room since Mama and the boys won’t be here ‘til tomorrow.  It will be nice and quiet.  Give us a chance to catch up, for you to tell me all about your classes and stuff.”

“Umm…” Stephanie hesitated, then gave Jon an apologetic smile.  “Actually, Daddy… I kinda have plans for later.  After the bonfire.”

Cate saw a little flicker of hurt flash in Jon’s expression.  “Oh.  With your friends?”  He couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Yes, Daddy.  I’m meeting up with Morgan and a couple of the other girls from the floor.  We’re going to a party.”

“Sounds like fun.  A pre-Homecoming thing?”  Cate jumped into the conversation.  She didn’t want Jon to guilt Stephanie into giving up her time with her friends and with Brendan.  Plus, Cate was mentally drained from her emotional morning.  She needed a little quiet time to herself before Dorothea and the rest of Jon’s children arrived.

Stephanie nodded.  “Yeah.  It’s back in the quad, an ‘official’ post-bonfire party.”  She gave Jon a direct look.  “Not a kegger at somebody’s house or anything like that.”

“Alright.  You don’t have to explain.”  Jon held up a hand.  “It’s your Homecoming weekend… I get it.  Just be careful, okay?”

Stephanie sighed.  “Yes, Daddy.  You know I will be.”  She looked sideways at her boyfriend and smiled.  “Besides, Brendan will take care of me.”

Jon arched a brow.  “And where are you staying tonight, Brendan?”  It was clear from his tone that “with Stephanie” was not an acceptable answer.  “We have plenty of room at the cabin if you need a place to bunk.”

“Uh, thanks, Mr. B… but I’m set.”  Brendan grinned.  “I have a buddy who’s studying finance up here.  Staying at the Sigma Nu house with him.”

Jon nodded.  “Good.”  From the corner of his eye he caught Cate’s disapproving frown.  He hastily continued, softening his clipped response.  “I mean, glad you have a place to crash.  But if the frat house is full, the offer stands for you to stay with us.”

“Thanks, but I’m cool.  Connor’s got it all set up already.”

“Okay.  Just keep it in mind.”

Stephanie shook her head slightly, smiling at the exchange between her father and her boyfriend.  She silently thanked God that Brendan was so patient, even though she didn’t see why he was still nervous around her father after all this time.  Stephs’s smile softened as she also realized how much her Daddy wanted to spend time with her.  She would have to be sure to schedule a little one-on-one time with him this weekend.

“So, Steph… how are your classes?”

Cate’s question turned Stephanie's attention to her Stepmother.  She nodded.  “Pretty good.  Interesting.  Well, most of them, anyway.”

Cate chuckled.  “Let me guess.  Math?”

“Yeah.” Stephanie nodded and wrinkled her nose.  “Pre-Calc sucks.”

Jon arched a brow at his daughter, though his smile remained.  “You doing better in that?”

Steph nodded again before taking a sip from her Coke.  “I got a B on my last test.  And I got a tutor to help me with my homework.”

She exchanged a look with Cate, responding to her Stepmother’s empathetic smile.  “I swear, one problem takes hours to do!  I don’t know why the Hell I have to take it… I’m on the Arts track, not Sciences.”  Stephanie slumped back in her chair, letting out a little hmph to punctuate her protest.

“Well, it’s a requirement, so you don’t really have a choice,” Jon replied firmly.  “Just get through it.”

“Yeah, well… fucking Pre-Calc is gonna blow my 4.0 before I even make it through a semester,” Stephanie grumbled.

“Maybe not.”  Again Cate gave Stephanie a knowing smile.  She had struggled with advanced mathematics in her own college career.  “You still have plenty of time to pull your grade back up to an A.  How many tests do you have left?”

“Two, plus the final.”  Stephanie sighed again.  “And at least my Prof grades on a curve.”

“Well, there ya go.”  Jon interjected.  “Just keep working with your tutor, Steph.  And do the best you can.”

“Yeah, Daddy.  I will.”

Cate watched as Stephanie looked sideways at Brendan.  He responded with an adoring smile, making his girlfriend’s gloomy expression instantly brighten.  Cate’s heart squeezed at the sweet exchange, her mind flashing back to the excitement of young love and new-found freedom she had experienced in her own college freshman year.

Jon noticed Cate’s wistful smile and again rubbed his hand gently between her shoulders.  He wasn’t sure exactly what she was thinking, but he was pretty sure it was nostalgic.  He turned his attention back to his daughter.

“So, Pre-Calc sucks… How are your other classes?”

Stephanie took another sip from the straw in her Coke before answering.  “Good.  Chemistry’s kinda hard, but I’ve got an A.  Politics is a breeze.”

“What class did you end up with for your freshman humanities requirement?”

Steph’s smile brightened, an excited gleam flashing in her blue eyes.  “Oh, I got into the one I wanted!  I was on the wait list for it but after the first day a few students dropped out, so I got in!”

Cate chuckled again at her stepdaughter’s excitement.  “That’s great, Steph.  What class is it?”

“Early Childhood Development!”  Stephanie giggled excitedly.  “Oh my God, Cate… it’s fascinating!  Right now we’re covering the stages of infancy, talking about the integration of physical, cognitive, and social development for little babies.  It’s amazing how their little brains work at such an early age!” Her words tumbled out in an enthusiastic rush. 

“I had no idea how fast babies learn.  I mean, it all makes sense now that I'm learning the science of it… but I never would have figured that out from watching my brothers!”

Jon felt Cate stiffen under his hand.  Automatically he turned his head to look at her.  His heart clenched at the unmistakable sadness in his wife’s eyes, though a forced smile remained on her lips.

“…And next week we get to start a lab, where we go to the campus daycare center once a week and work in the infant room.  It’s kinda like glorified babysitting, but we have to keep a journal and observe the babies and their cognitive behaviors when they play and eat, and even when they sleep.”  Stephanie paused her excited narrative to take a breath, giving Cate a beaming smile.

Cate nodded back at her stepdaughter.  “That… that sounds awesome, Steph.”  She hoped her voice didn’t betray the hollowness she suddenly felt.  “I had no idea you were so… into… babies.”

Stephanie grinned and shrugged.  “I like kids, but I guess I never realized how amazing babies are.  I mean, they’re born so vulnerable and tiny, but they’re already so amazingly advanced and complex… and the speed of their psychological development is just astounding.”

“It’s a miracle,” Jon replied quietly.  His fingers curled against Cate’s back, silently conveying his message of support.

Stephanie noticed the subtle change in her father’s tone.  She looked from Cate to him and saw the affection in his smile.

“That’s what my Prof says.  She says even people who aren’t the least bit religious describe birth as ‘a miracle,’ even though modern science can fully explain how and why it happens.”  Stephanie’s comment was quieter, but still laden with the excitement of intellectual discovery.

“Because science can’t explain love.”  Jon’s smile gentled as the vivid memory of his daughter’s birth filled his mind.  “It’s such an overwhelming thing, watching this little being come into the world, out of another human, and knowing it’s yours.  A part of you.  Something you created out of love.  It’s just… there’s no other word to describe it.  Miraculous.”

Jon's blue eyes moistened at the memory as he smiled across the table at his now-grown daughter.  “Someday you’ll understand, Princess.  When you have a child of your own.”

Jon’s words stabbed through Cate’s heart.  She blinked rapidly and looked down, willing herself to hold it together in front of Jon’s daughter.  Stephanie had no way of knowing what she and Jon had learned just this morning.  She had no idea that her excited narrative had touched a nerve.

Cate didn’t want her stepdaughter to feel bad for unintentionally hurting her.  And she didn’t want Jon to feel guilty for sharing one of his most precious memories with his child.  But she couldn’t help the way she felt.

It was Brendan who brought levity to the moment.  “Umm, Mr. B… When Stephanie has a baby… that will make you a Grandfather.”  He smiled sheepishly, not needing to continue the thought.

Jon gave Brendan a faux-stern look but couldn’t help smiling.  “Yeah… And?  I didn’t say she needed to understand anytime soon, did I?”

Brendan shrugged, but grinned back at his girlfriend’s father.  “I’m just saying… do you think you’ll feel different about that whole miracle of birth thing when it’s your Baby Girl having the baby?”

Jon chuckled at Brendan’s boldness.  Now that they had spent a little time together the Kid was coming out of his shell, as usual.

He shot a glance at Cate and saw that she was looking across the room, not making eye contact with either of the young people across the table.  Jon could tell she was trying to keep her emotion under wraps.  He again rubbed his hand reassuringly across her back as he spoke.

“Yeah, Brendan, I probably will.  And God knows I don’t want to be anywhere near that hospital room when that baby comes shooting out of my daughter.  I’ll be out in the waiting room with the rest of the family, getting ready to hand out the cigars.”  He gave Brendan a cheeky grin.  “With your Dad.”

Cate couldn’t help but snort out a little giggle at Jon’s tease.  Automatically her gaze moved to the young man on the other side of the table, who was now squirming uncomfortably under Jon’s stare.

Daddy!”  Stephanie squealed in protest.  Her cheeks were flushed pink with embarrassment.  “Stop it!  Brendan and I… well… we’re SO not ready to even think about kids yet!”

Jon nonchalantly picked up his glass and drank the last swallow of now-lukewarm beer.  He sat the empty pint on its coaster and leaned back, grinning smugly.  “Good.  ‘Cause I’m not ready to be a Grandpa yet.  You gotta gimme at least another ten years or so.”

Cate chuckled throatily at Jon’s proclamation, then smiled as he turned his twinkling blue eyes to her.  She could read his thoughts in those eyes.  I'm not done being a Daddy just yet.

“Well, no problem there.”  Stephanie snorted derisively.  “Jesse’s the one you should be talking to about that.”

Jon chuckled.  “Yeah, well.  You just let me deal with your brother.”  He looked at his watch.  “So, we probably better get moving if you wanna walk through the village.”

Stephanie glanced at her own wrist, then nodded her agreement.  “Yeah.  There’s a couple shops I want to stop in, too.” She grinned at her Stepmother.  “Cate, there’s this really neat shop that has awesome handmade jewelry.”

Cate smiled back.  “Sounds cool.”

“Ohhhh LORDY.”  Jon sighed dramatically and shook his head.  “Brendan, looks like you’re hanging with me at the Starbuck's.  The women got shopping in mind.”

Stephanie giggled and gave Brendan an adoring look.  “Nah, Daddy.  Brendan likes to shop with me.”

Jon snorted as the look Brendan gave him plainly said “not really.”  He grinned and shook his head again, then pushed back his chair.

Jon stood and pulled back Cate’s chair for her as she rose, then held her coat as she slipped her arms into the sleeves.  As he settled the thick wool garment onto her shoulders Jon leaned in close to murmur in Cate’s ear.

“You okay, Baby?”

Cate turned her head to give Jon a little smile.  “Yeah,” she replied quietly.  “I just gotta get used to it.”

Jon wrapped his arms around Cate’s waist and gave her a hug, pressing a kiss against her soft cheek.  “Just remember, we’re in this together, ‘kay?”

“I know.”  Cate tipped her head against Jon’s.  “But don't worry about me.  Let’s just go have a fun night with the Kids.  Okay?”

“You got it.”  Jon pressed another kiss to Cate’s cheek, then stepped back and grinned at his daughter.  “Alright, Miss College… Lead the way!”

Jon and Cate followed Stephanie and Brendan out of the pizza shop and onto the brick sidewalk.  The temperature had dropped noticeably with the sunset, and immediately Stephanie sidled up to Brendan.  He wrapped his arm around her waist, then they started down the sidewalk toward the town’s Main Street.

Jon shivered as a chilly breeze ruffled his hair.  He yanked the zipper on his parka up to the top, then reached for Cate’s gloved hand.  His fingers twined with hers as they shared a smile.  Then together they turned to follow the young couple down the quaint village street.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

TEN

Jon’s face split into a wide grin as he knocked on the heavy door.  He ignored the wide-eyed stares and excited giggles of the growing number of young people in the hallway.  He would be friendly and charming to them soon enough.  He had more important matters to attend to first.

Cate smiled at Jon’s obvious excitement.  He had been a bundle of energy the entire drive from the City, so anxious to see his daughter that he had insisted they come straight to her dorm rather than stopping first at their rented cabin.  Now he couldn’t even stand still; he bounced on the balls of his feet as he waited for Stephanie to answer her door.

“Are you sure she’s even here, Jon?  We’re almost an hour early.”

Jon’s eyes narrowed at her practical question.  Cate stifled a snort of laughter at his reaction.  From Jon’s expression one would think he had just been told to buzz off.

“I don’t know where else she would be.  She knows we’re coming.”  Jon shook his head, dismissing the thought.  He raised his hand to knock again.

“Class, maybe?  The library?  The laundry room?  The coffee shop?”  Cate’s eyes shone with a hint of mischief as she reeled off the list of possibilities.  “Steph’s a busy girl, you know.  I doubt she sits around her room, counting the minutes until Daddy Dearest’s arrival.”  Her sarcastic tease was softened by her smile.

“She doesn’t have Friday classes,” Jon answered curtly, rapping his knuckles against the wood a second time.

Cate heard quiet giggles and murmurs behind her.  She had noticed a trio of young women were camped outside an open door just down the hall. Obviously they were eavesdropping on her conversation with Jon.  

Cate nonchalantly turned to lean against the wall and shot a covert glance in the girls' direction.  A petite brunette was typing rapidly on the keyboard of her smartphone while the other two girls looked over her shoulder.

Chuckling softly to herself, Cate returned her gaze to Jon.  His eager grin hadn’t faded as he waited impatiently for Stephanie to answer.  He stared intently at the dorm room door, as if his laser-gaze could force it to swing open of its own accord.  

Cate wasn't sure Jon's knock would be answered.  Between the activity of the girls in the hall and the muffled ringtone and curse she had heard through the exterior wall of Stephanie's room, Cate had a feeling their early arrival was a surprise.  One that Jon's daughter may not welcome.

“Babe, we’re early.  Why don’t we go grab a cup of coffee and you can shoot her a text, let her know we’re here.  She’s probably on her way back to her room from wherever.”  Cate stepped away from the wall and put a gentle hand on Jon’s arm.  “We can wait for her in the lobby.”

Jon’s grin faded as he realized the sensibility of his wife’s proposition.  “Yeah, alright,” he relented, reluctantly taking a step back.  “You’re probably right.”

Cate gave him a sweet smile and slipped her hand into Jon’s as he started to turn away from Stephanie’s dorm room door.  She froze and inwardly cringed as she heard the loud metallic click of a lock and the turn of the knob.

“Daddy!  Cate!  You’re… Early!”  

Stephanie’s greeting was a bit too enthusiastic.  Cate bit her tongue to control her urge to give her stepdaughter a knowing smirk.  She had a pretty good idea what had caused Stephanie’s delay in answering the door, but her efforts to help the teen’s cause had been thwarted.

“Stephie!”  Jon’s face lit up at the sound of his daughter’s voice.  He turned his beaming grin to his first-born, dropping Cate’s hand and holding his arms out wide. “There you are!”

“Hi Daddy.”  Stephanie stepped into the hallway and into Jon’s hug.  Cate chuckled softly as she noted the girl was careful to pull her door almost-shut behind her, blocking their view into her room.  “Hi Cate,” Stephanie added, turning her head to smile at her stepmother as Jon loosened his embrace.

Cate grinned back, noting Stephanie’s flushed cheeks and tousled blonde hair.  “Hello, Steph.”  She opened her arms to accept a brief hug from her stepdaughter.

“Cate said you weren’t here, that we were too early.” Jon announced smugly, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets and giving his daughter an adoring grin.

“Yeah… uh, I’m here.  Obviously.” Stephanie giggled nervously and stepped back, leaning against the doorframe and subtly blocking Jon’s entry into her room.  The door drifted open a bit as her behind bumped against it.  “Sorry to make you wait.”

“S’Okay.  Figured you had your iPod on or something.”  Jon rocked on the balls of his feet.  “So, you and Morgan ready for us to take you to dinner?  I’ve been craving a slice of that pizza from that joint we went to last time.” 

“Daddy,” Stephanie rolled her eyes and giggled again.  “It’s only three in the afternoon.  And Morgan’s parents are coming later, so she’ll probably go out to eat with them.”  She crossed her arms over her middle, still not budging from her spot in front of her door.

Jon nodded.  “Okay, so it’s just us then.” He turned his smile to Cate, then back to Stephanie.  “So, grab your coat and come with us to check out the cabin.  We haven’t been up there yet.”

“You haven’t?  Uh…”

Cate smoothly interrupted, seeing Stephanie’s surprise at Jon’s invitation.  “Your father was so excited to see you that he wanted to come straight here.”  Her eyes met Stephanie’s and she gave the girl a little wink.  “I tried to tell him you might be busy, but he insisted.”  

Cate smiled when she saw the surprise, then the comprehension, then the relief in her stepdaughter’s blue-eyed gaze.  “But if you have stuff to do, we can go get settled at the cabin and come back and pick you up.”

“Um… yeah.  That might be a good idea…” Stephanie nodded at Cate’s suggestion, then gave her father an apologetic smile.  “I do have a couple things I need to…”

Her excuse was interrupted by a loud sneeze from the other side of her door.  Stephanie cringed, then smiled sheepishly.

Jon’s brow furrowed, though his smile remained.  “Is that Morgan?”  He titled his head in an attempt to look around the partially-opened door into Stephanie’s dorm room.  “Why don’t you let us say hello, and invite her and her parents to come to dinner with us?”  Without waiting for his daughter’s reply Jon stepped forward and pushed lightly at the door.  It swung open, giving him and Cate a view into the room.

Cate shot Stephanie a sympathetic smile as the girl grimaced in anticipation of her father’s reaction.  Then she raised a hand to give her husband’s arm a squeeze, subtly reminding him to keep his cool.

“Uhh… Hi, Mr. Bongiovi.  Mrs. Bongiovi.”  The young man’s voice was a nervous croak.  He sat up straight on the edge of Stephanie’s bed, squaring his shoulders and trying not to wilt under her father’s surprised stare.

“Daddy…”  Stephanie put her hand on Jon’s other arm, the gentle pressure silently begging him not to make a scene.

“Brendan.”  Jon’s voice was cool, but Cate detected a hint of amusement in his tone.  She swallowed a chuckle as she looked at Jon’s profile and saw the upward curl of the corner of his mouth.  Though he was clearly surprised by Brendan’s presence, Cate could see that Jon wasn’t angry.  He was just going to fuck with the kid a little bit.

“Stephanie didn’t tell me you would be here this weekend.”

“It was a surprise, Daddy,” Stephanie answered hastily.  “I didn’t know until Brendan got here, this afternoon.”

“Ah.  Drove in from the City, did you, Brendan?” Jon arched a brow and gave the young man a pointed look.  “You should have told me your plans.  You could have ridden up with us.”

“Actually, Sir… I took the train.”  Brendan cleared his throat nervously, but met Jon’s stare.  He had been dating Stephanie for over a year now, and he knew her father didn’t really dislike him.  But then again, Jon had never found Brendan in his only daughter’s room before, sitting on her freshly-rumpled bed. 

“Uh huh.” Jon nodded slowly, drawing out the syllables.  He glanced at Cate and saw her smirk.  Her amused expression clearly said “Let him off the hook.”

Jon pushed the door further open and sauntered into Stephanie’s dorm room.    “So, when did you get here?”  He pulled the chair away from the desk next to the bed and swiveled it around, then lowered himself onto it.  Jon leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared intently at his daughter’s suitor.

“Um, just about a half-hour ago.”  The young man swallowed hard and tried to conceal his discomfort at Jon’s not-so-subtle interrogation.

Jon arched a brow and turned to give his daughter a smirk.  “And how long has it been since you two saw each other?”  His voice was laden with gleeful tease.  “Did we… interrupt… something?  A little reunion, perhaps?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, now confident her father was just play-acting.  “Oh, for God’s sake, Daddy… stop picking on him.”  She crossed the room and sat beside Brendan on the bed, slipping her hand into his. 

“Jon,” Cate warned gently, unable to keep from smiling.  “She’s right.  Leave him alone.”

“What? I’m not picking on anybody!” Jon exaggerated his protest, then grinned widely.  “Brendan doesn’t think I’m picking on him.  Do ya, Brendan?”

The young man grinned sheepishly.  “No, Sir.”  He shook his head though his answer was contrary to his perception of the situation.  He was positive he was being razzed by Stephanie’s father.

“See?”  Jon turned his mischievous smirk to Cate.  His heart warmed as he saw the genuine smile on her lips and the little twinkle in her blue eyes.  For the first time today she looked truly happy.

Jon gave Cate a little wink before turning his attention back to his daughter.  “Well, seeing as how you have company…” He exaggerated the word to tease the young couple a bit more.  “Cate and I will go unload our shit at the cabin, then come back by to pick you up.  Brendan, I assume you will be joining us for dinner?”

Brendan shrugged, then looked at Stephanie.  “I don’t want to intrude on family time… I can grab a bite somewhere, then meet up with you later.”

Jon snorted.  “Nonsense.  You’re coming to dinner with us.”  He gave Brendan a warmer, more friendly grin.  “Hell, you’re practically family as it is.  I think you’re the first guy to survive dating my daughter for more than a month or two.”

“Uh… thank you, Sir.”  Brendan didn’t quite know how to take Jon’s backhanded compliment.  “For the invitation…”

“Alright, Jon.” Cate interrupted, letting Stephanie’s boyfriend off the hook.  “Let’s go, leave them alone.  You have all weekend to get reacquainted with Brendan.”  She couldn’t resist her own little jab at the affable young man.

Jon nodded, then stood.  “Starting with dinner.  We’ll be back in an hour or so to pick you up, Princess.”  He leaned over to wrap an arm around Stephanie’s shoulder, pulling her into a one-armed hug and pressing a kiss against her forehead.  “You too, Brendan.”  Jon disengaged from his embrace and stuck out a hand.

“Okay.  Thanks.”  Brendan shook Jon’s hand, relieved to see the older man’s little wink of truce.  He was beginning to think maybe Stephanie’s father really wasn’t pleased to see him.

Cate chuckled softly as she watched the exchange, then gave Jon a warm smile as he stepped over to her and took her hand.  “What time is the Pep Rally?”  She directed her question to Stephanie as she and Jon stepped over to the door. 

“It starts at nine.  The bonfire’s supposed to be going by 8:30, though.”

“So we should probably bring our coats and blankets and stuff when we come back over, right?”

Stephanie nodded.  “Yeah.  By the time we eat dinner and walk through town to see the Spirit Windows and stuff, it will be time to head for the field.  You probably won’t have time to go back to the cabin.”

“There gonna be cheerleaders at this bonfire?”  Jon gave his daughter a goofy lecherous grin.

“Yes, Daddy.” Stephanie sighed dramatically at his corny playfulness.  “But they’ll be young enough to be your daughter.  Literally.”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me.” Jon pulled a face, then stepped for the door.  “Alright, we’re outta here.  Be back in an hour.”  Jon paused and arched a brow at the young couple.  “Or maybe earlier.”

Cate laughed and pushed Jon through the door.  “Alright, already.”  She gave Stephanie and Brendan an apologetic smile.  “Bye, you two.  See you in at least an hour.”

Stephanie giggled and moved over to the door as her stepmother followed Jon through it into the hallway.  “Bye, Cate.  Bye Daddy.”  

When her parents headed for the elevator Stephanie closed and locked the door, then leaned against it with a heavy sigh before giving Brendan an apologetic smile.  “Sorry.”

Brendan chuckled as he wandered over to where Stephanie stood.  “S’Okay.”  He rested his hands on her waist and smiled down at her.  “I know your Dad secretly likes me.  And I figured he’d be here this weekend.”

“Yeah…” Steph sighed again, then smiled up at her handsome boyfriend.  “I just hope we get some time together, alone.  I have a feeling Daddy’s gonna be stuck like glue to me all weekend.”

“We’ll figure something out.  Just may have to be creative.”  Brendan’s warm breath against Stephanie’s lips gave her goosebumps.  She giggled her agreement and wrapped her arms around his neck, melting into the kiss.

In the dormitory common room, Jon whistled cheerfully as he punched the elevator call button.  He gave Cate a sideways glance and a mischievous grin as he shoved his hands into his pockets and bounced on the balls of his feet, waiting for the doors to open.

Cate chortled quietly.  “You’re just bad.”  She shook her head at her husband’s smugness.  “Poor kids.”

Jon smirked at the elevator.  “My work here is done.”  

A soft ding punctuated his proclamation, then the metal doors slid open to reveal two female students toting backpacks.  The girls gaped in surprise as Jon gave them a dazzling grin before stepping aside so they could exit the elevator.  “Ladies.”

Blushing and giggling, the young women quickly scooted past Jon and Cate and disappeared down the hallway.  Cate rolled her eyes as she followed Jon’s gesture to precede him into the elevator.  She couldn’t help but smile as they both leaned against the back wall of the car while the doors slid shut.

“Oh, I see. Your work here is done.”  Cate couldn’t resist taunting her smug husband.  “You do realize we just left your daughter and her boyfriend alone for an hour… in her bedroom?”  She continued to face the elevator door, watching Jon from the corner of her eye as she smirked wickedly. 

Cate saw Jon’s grin wilt.  His muttered response was falsely cheerful.

“Shut Up.”

*****
Fifteen minutes later the gray SUV crept through the trees, following the gravel road.  Ahead a dark, slate-roofed structure stood at the edge of a small clearing.

“Well, this looks promising,” Jon observed as he guided the vehicle to a stop in front of what was obviously a detached garage.

Cate nodded her agreement as she pushed open her door and climbed out the passenger side.  “Yeah, you could say that.”  Her eyes widened as she evaluated the enormous residence.  “Sure doesn’t look like the lake cabin I visited as a kid.”  She slowly rounded the front of the vehicle to where Jon stood waiting.

Jon chuckled quietly.  “Well, apparently being a Donor to the College has its perqs.”

Cate arched a surprised brow.  “You mean this place belongs to the school?”

“No.  It’s privately-owned.  But apparently it’s available to the College for ‘certain benefactors.’ ” Jon made air quotes to emphasize the phrase.

Cate chortled.  “Ah.  Gotta keep the Deep Pockets happy, huh?”  She slipped her hand into Jon’s.  “They’re probably just buttering you up for a future Benefit Concert.”

Jon snorted.  “Cynic.  But yeah, you’re probably right.”  He gave Cate’s hand a little squeeze.  “I don’t mind a little buttering now and again. Do you?”

“Not this kind.”  Cate grinned, again turning her gaze to the cabin.  It looked like something out of a fairytale, built in the arts-and-crafts style and featuring peaks and dormers and a wide wrap-around porch.  Cate counted three chimneys jutting from the slate roof, and she was certain the lake-facing side of the house would be walled with huge windows.  “It looks almost like a ski lodge.”

“Yeah, it does.” Jon agreed, taking a step toward the flagstone-paved walk leading to the front steps.  “C’mon.”

Together Jon and Cate traversed the walk and climbed the steps onto the porch.  Jon dropped Cate’s hand as he sorted the key from his key ring before trying it in the lock.  A quiet click and a turn of the knob granted them entrance.

Jon and Cate stepped onto the tiled raised foyer and took in their surroundings.  Cate gasped softly as her eyes swept over the great room.  As beautiful as the cabin was from the outside, from the inside it was stunning. 

The room was sunken, its dark hardwood floor a full two steps lower than the foyer.  Its dominating feature was a massive fireplace in the room’s center, splitting the family room from a dining space.  Cate could see through the firebox to the far side of the room, an ornate cast-iron fire screen the only thing minimally impeding her view.  A rustic pillar of fieldstone rose from the fireplace to the roof nearly three stories above.

The far wall was, as Cate suspected, a wall of windows.  The browns and golds and rusts of autumn foliage made the forest behind the house seem almost an extension of the cabin, decorated to match.  In front of the windows, a long oak table sat surrounded by 10 flat-black ladderback chairs.  Off the dining area Cate could see through a wide arched doorway into a large kitchen appointed with dark wood cabinets and black granite countertops.

On the near side of the fireplace two golden-brown leather sofas and four matching armchairs were arranged around a rustic slate-topped square coffee table.  Under the furniture lay a gorgeous Native American-patterned woven rug, and pillows and throws in matching hues of orange, brown, green, and blue scattered the sofas and chairs.  

A pile of giant floor cushions sat stacked in a corner, next to a basket of board games.  Above the table, suspended from one of the curving oak beams that spanned ceiling, hung a huge chandelier made of scrolled ironwork and deer antlers.  Warm tan walls were adorned with prints of game birds and hunting dogs, completing the lodge theme.

Jon let out a low whistle as he strolled forward.  He descended the two steps into the family room and turned, gazing up at the balcony that overhung the great room.  “Wow.” He gestured up at the iron-scrolled balcony railing.  “Guess that’s where the bedrooms are.” 

Cate followed his point and saw that the open part of the loft was rather narrow, filled with two pairs of chairs and a few small tables and floor lamps.   Behind the sitting area were four wooden doors, spaced along the wall.  At the far end of the great room a partially-concealed switchback staircase provided access to the second floor. 

She nodded her agreement.  “The boys will love sleeping up there,” she observed.  “Wonder if there’s enough space for each of them to have their own rooms?”

Jon grinned.  “I’m betting there’s at least one room up there with bunk beds.  You know the Chuckleheads will be all over that.”

Cate did a mental count of the doors, then of their family.  She frowned slightly as she realized there may be just enough rooms for them; one for the younger boys, one for Jesse, one for her and Jon, and one for Dorothea.  She tried to ignore the little stab of annoyance she felt as she realized she and Jon would probably have even less privacy than they anticipated.

“Wonder which one’s the Master,” Cate mused, following Jon down the steps into the living room.  She stopped, facing him.

Jon gave her a little smirk and raised a hand to point past her, to the wall opposite the loft.  “Betcha a dollar it’s over there.”

Cate turned to see a small recess in the wall, like an entryway to a suite.  In the center of the dusky alcove was a massive oak double door.  She felt a little smile curve her lips.  The doors did indeed look like the entry to a grand bedroom.

“Check it out,” Jon urged.  He nodded when Cate gave him a questioning look, then he followed her over to the door.  He smiled smugly when she pulled open the heavy doors to reveal a large, airy room decorated in the same style and palette as the great room.  Centered on the far wall was a huge king-sized bed, opposite a smaller version of the great room’s stone fireplace.

“Now, this is our room.”  Jon grinned.

“Wow,” Cate breathed.  She drifted over to the massive picture window that took up almost half the exterior wall.  Her blue eyes wide, she stared through the portal at the stunning view of the forested hillside and the placid lake below.

Jon watched her for a moment, his heart swelling with affection.  He never got tired of seeing her reaction to the finer things their life together brought them.  The luxuries he often took for granted were still a wonder to his wife.   

Jon stepped up behind Cate, his arms sliding around her middle.  His smile matched hers as he dipped his head to rest his chin on her shoulder.  They were quiet for a moment, gazing together out the window at the peaceful scene. 

When Jon finally spoke his voice was calm, with just a hint of caution.  “You feeling better, Baby?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; Cate knew what he meant.  It had been a difficult morning, one that overwhelmed her.  Jon had understood, allowing her the space she needed to come to grips with their disappointing news.  By the time they drove away from the city Cate had managed to compartmentalize her feelings, to stuff them away until she could later analyze and deal with them. 

Though she had promised Dr. Seuss that she and Jon would find time to talk this weekend, Cate just couldn’t do it now.  Jon was so excited to spend time with Stephanie and the Boys; she couldn’t bear to drag him down.  And once the rest of the family arrived they certainly wouldn’t have any time alone.

Sometimes promises had to be broken.

Cate nodded slowly.  “Yeah.  I’m okay.  I just… I was just a little freaked out this morning.”

“I know.  You had me worried.”

Cate tipped her head, rubbing her cheek gently against Jon’s.  “Sorry, Baby.”  She smiled gratefully.  “But I’m okay.  Really.  I don’t want to think about it right now.  I just want to relax and have fun this weekend.”

“Me too, Baby.  But if you want to talk… I’m here.”  The concern in his voice made Cate melt.

“I know, Jon.”

Cate turned her gaze back to the window, the gentle smile lingering on her lips.  She nodded at the tableau before her; the view of the shimmering lake framed by the autumn foliage.   “It’s gorgeous.  Too bad we won’t have much time to enjoy it.”

“Yeah,” Jon agreed softly.  “Between our plans with Steph tonight and Dorothea and the boys coming tomorrow for the parade and the game and everything, we're gonna be busy.  Dammit.”

Cate sighed and leaned back against Jon, her arms settling over his around her middle.  “But good-busy,” she commented.  “Family time.”  She hoped Jon couldn’t hear in her voice the little twinge she felt in her heart.

“Maybe we can come back another time.  Just the two of us.”  Jon turned to nuzzle Cate’s cheek, his voice soft in her ear.  “We could use a getaway.  Some time to breathe, to relax… to talk.”

“I’d like that,” Cate replied softly.  “But I don’t know when we can possibly do it.  There’s just so much going on.  It never stops.”

“Then maybe we’ll have to find a way to make it stop.”  Jon echoed her soft sigh.

Cate nodded again and smiled.  “C’mon.  We better get our stuff hauled in from the car.  You told your daughter you’d be back in an hour.”

Jon chuckled quietly and loosened his embrace, then urged Cate to face him.  She turned in his arms and gazed up into his handsome face, her sapphire eyes shining. 

“Yeah… well.  She probably won’t mind if we’re a few minutes late.”  Jon lowered his face to Cate’s, his lips brushing over hers in a gentle caress.  He murmured softly against her mouth. “Think I’d rather stay here and kiss my wife.”

Cate sighed softly and smiled.  Then she slipped her arms around Jon’s waist and let him do just that.

For that moment, time stood still.